The Italian Won't Sleep

I rocked Marcus for two hours (12:15 - 2:09) and he finally fell asleep. Two minutes later, Ethan woke up just for a second, but he hollered loud enough to wake Marcus again. I think I may have frightened the neighbors when, at that point, I hollered out of complete frustration.

I got dressed enough to go outside, thinking we would go for a drive, but then it didn't feel safe to go driving during the middle of the night. So Marcus is sitting on my lap, with his little pointer finger sticking out, trying to do his own typing, and we are blogging. Blog, blog, blog. Blogging.


On the plus side, he looks quite dapper with his first official haircut. And he's starting to yawn.

Decorated

This is my favorite ornament this year. We bought it at McMenamin's Grand Lodge right before we moved as a souvenir to remember living in Forest Grove. We had a great time decorating the tree last night. All the ornaments start at about three feet high to keep Marcus away from them, but the tree is still beautiful.

Turkey Day

Yesterday was great. I can easily rank it as my favorite Thanksgiving to date. I feel incredibly blessed; there is absolutely so much to be thankful for. With Brian living away from us, every time he comes home is a treasure. I have three beautiful, healthy children who are such a joy. It's great to live so close to both Brian's and my families. Life is wonderful.

We started the day searching the internet for a way to watch the Macy's parade, and all we found was a 2 by 2 inch webcam. We watched and listened to in long enough to get the feeling of it, then we turned it off. (My mom recorded it, so we'll really watch it today.)

Alyssa and Ethan spent the morning stringing beads on pipe cleaners to make candy cane ornaments, I spent the morning baking beautiful, but slightly burnt pies, Brian spent the morning studying for boards, and Marcus spent the morning playing with camels from the Fisher Price nativity set. We went to Thanksgiving dinner at Grandma Orton's house, and dessert at my parents house.

And today the kids and I are going to my parent's to finish up some Christmas tree advent calendars while Brian studies some more, and then tonight we're decorating our Christmas tree! Yea!! Whoo!! Christmas tree!!

The Best Intentions

I have never been great at sending Christmas cards. I've been grown and married for almost eight years now, and I've only sent them out twice. I love getting Christmas cards, though, and the best way to get mail is to send mail. This year I am bound and determined to send out a whopping huge pile of Christmas cards. The only problem is that I need your address.

Friends from the Tri-Cities, friends from Utah, friends from Forest Grove (everyone from our old wards, and optometry students, especially those who have graduated and moved on or who are now on rotations), blog readers (even lurkers), brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, cousins, people I have never met before, everybody...please send your address to carrielynnjacks@gmail.com and in turn you will receive a (hopefully) super cool Christmas card from us.

Hollidaisy!

For anybody looking for some great, hand-crafted gifts this holiday season, check hollidaisy, my friend's new etsy shop. Everything (hand knitted baby sweaters, girly hair clips, scarves, cards, and more) is absolutely adorabe, and I was quite impressed by the prices. If you need some Christmas present ideas, feel free to check it out. She's also doing a give away, and you can check out her blog for details.

First and Last two lines copyrighted by Cali Hawkins. I copied hers, because she said everything perfectly. I guess if it was copyrighted, I'd be in jail right now. Please don't turn me in.

Dynamic Duo

Climbing into the heating vent is only one mess these boys tend to get into. They also like to play with garbage cans, toilets, kitchen cupboards, cereal boxes, dirt from potted plants, etc., etc.

Every Girl's Dream

I have two boys fighting over me all day long, and I have one hunk of a man calling me two or three times a day.

This is what happens when I sit at the computer or on the couch or at the table. They are constantly fighting over my lap. It might look like they're just hugging my legs, but they are really climbing my legs, trying to push each other off.

Ethan seems to be feeling a little neglected lately. I think he needs more attention. When Alyssa tells me something (anything!) he stands right beside her and grunts, pointing to wherever she may be pointing, and motioning with his hands just like she does. And if Marcus gets hurt or gets stuck somewhere, Ethan will go pretend the same thing happened to him, so he can get some extra lovin' too. The other day Marcus fell and got stuck between a chair and a wall, and after I rescued him, Ethan went and put himself between the same chair and spot of wall, then pretended to cry until I went to get him, too.

This whole thing started out with Ethan running to my lap every time Marcus heads that way, but now Marcus is being just as competitive. It's hilarious.

And Things Were Going So Well

Okay, we had a rough evening. I've had a headache all day. We've been fighting colds for the last couple of weeks. I'm tired, the kids are tired, and as soon as the water heats up for my Theraflu, I'm going to bed.

Wow, that was fast. If you turn our back burner on high, it can get a pot of water boiling in about a minute, no kidding.

Here's the story, in four lines:

Yesterday: "Things are great! They're not perfect, but everything is under control. I've got great kids, I'm a great mom, and we have one fabulous cat."

This evening: "I'm just about to lose it you guys. Can't you see I'm losing it?" Actually, I didn't let my temper get the best of me. I didn't yell, but there was a part of me that really wanted to.

A few minutes ago: "Seriously, things are so out of control. What have I been thinking? Our life is crazy!"

Now: "The kids are in bed. That pink steaming cup of Theraflu, infused with berries, is looking so nice. I'm headed to bed."

Breakfast Buddies

Why is it that when I say, "Everybody go to the table for breakfast," or lunch or dinner or snack or dessert, that everyone crowds into our little kitchen instead of going to the dining room?

Outnumbered

Overall, being a "single mother" hasn't been that difficult. Most of the time, it feels like things are pretty well under control. That doesn't mean that my house is perfectly clean - it means that I've been able to keep up with laundry enough that everyone has clothes to wear each day, and that there aren't too many dirty dishes in the kitchen. Most of the time, I'm not stressed, and I'm not overwhelmed. But there are just certain times that pop up every now and again where everything comes rushing at me, and it's just so hard. Yesterday we stayed home from church because the boys' colds were very bad, but Alyssa, even though she has a cold too, was feeling fine. She was so busy yesterday. It's not too much of a stretch to say that she was jumping off the walls. By the end of the day I was so tired and frazzled from all that busy-ness. As I was getting the kids ready for bed Alyssa was doing kung foo, Ethan and Marcus were running all around the dressing room, and my mind was screaming, "There's three of them, and only one of me! What am I going to do?!?"

Luckily, there haven't been too many moments like that, and once I got all three kids settled in bed, things were much better. I've really had to adjust my attitude over the last few months. Even though my house has never been spotlessly clean, I'm not the type of person who normally leaves dirty dishes to sit overnight. I usually like to go to bed with a clean house, so I can wake up to a clean house the next morning. But right now, that's not where all of my time and energy needs to be spent.

I really enjoyed President Monson's talk this last conference titled "Finding Joy in the Journey." He only spoke a few words to mothers with young children, but those few words made such an impact on me. He said, "If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly." I don't think I'll miss the piles of laundry, but I will miss the children who wore the clothes. When he said that, I realized that I need to take advantage of all the opportunites I have to really be with my children while they're young. I've had to let the dishes slide, because if I didn't, I wouldn't have the time or energy to do things with my children.

One of our traditions is to make sugar cookies in the shape of pumpkins and decorate them just before Halloween each year. This year, Halloween kept getting closer and closer, and we hadn't done that yet. Finally one night I decided that we would just do it. I was still working on costumes, so we were already behind on the dishes. I almost wanted to do dishes, and then make and decorate cookies, but I realized that if I did that, then we would never get around to the "decorating cookies" part. So the kids and I decorated cookies at the dining room table, and we had to work around a pile of our dirty dinner dishes. It wasn't easy. It wasn't ideal. But I am so glad we did it.

If I was on the outside of my life, looking in I would say, "Oh that must be so hard to take care of three children while your husband is away." I would look at it as a simple, difficult situation. But being on the inside, I feel that it isn't that difficult at all, because I'm choosing to look at it as an opportunity to really focus on my children, and that, to me, is a blessing.

Winken, Blinken, and Nod

note: This post is much longer than I expected it to be. I want to be able to remember the good parts about putting them kids to bed at night after they've all grown up and left the house. I love tucking them in, and I want to be able to remember how we do it.

Our full bedtime routine goes as follows:

6:30 Ideally we would be having scripture study and reading time each night, but we've kind of gotten out of the habit of that since Brian left. We're working on it, though.

6:45ish While we're starting to get ready for bed, I sing the kids a song we made up a couple of months ago. It's kind of a jazzy number they sing with me. It basically goes:

Carrie: Alyssa are you ready for bed?
Alyssa: No!
Carrie: Alyssa are you ready for bed? (This one goes a little higher than the first.)
Alyssa: No!
Carrie: Aren't you tired?
Alyssa: No!
Carrie: Aren't you sleepy?
Alyssa: No!
Carrie: Alyssa are you ready for bed? (This one actually goes down.)

And then I sing it to Ethan and Marcus. It was so cute when Ethan caught on to the idea and started to sing his own "no's" in the correct places.

We get the kids pajamas on them while we're singing this song. Marcus actually has a couple of night time diapers that are different than the rest, because he pees like crazy just before he wakes up in the morning. He wears bamboo diapers to bed, because they're super absorbent. I don't know why anyone needed to know that. Hhhmm. After getting pajamas on, Alyssa brushes her teeth. We haven't been doing so great with Ethan and Marcus' teeth lately. We need to fix that.

Next, we have family prayer, and we group together for prayer by singing the Primary song that goes Let us gather in a circle, and kneel in family prayer to thank our Heavenly Father for the blessings we all share. We sing that, because it's what my family sang for family prayers when I was growing up, and because -face it- it's a great song.

Next comes the actual "tucking in" part. Alyssa and Ethan say their personal prayers, then I tuck them in to bed and ask them what their favorite part of the day was. (This was also something I got from my mom and dad.) We haven't started saying personal prayers for Marcus yet. When Ethan was this age, we went ahead and said a prayer for him, not pretending to talk for him, but saying things like, "We're so thankful for Ethan," and "Please help Ethan sleep well tonight," until he was able to start saying them himself. I'd like to start doing this for Marcus now that he's getting older so he can feel more included in being tucked in. Alyssa's answer to the favorite part of the day question is always (and I do mean always) "Everything." I tried to make her pick one specific thing for a while, but it didn't stick. Ethan usually grunts an answer, or just says, "Day," so next I ask, "Was ______ the best part of your day?" and he says, "Yeah." See, this whole sequence, in Alyssa's mind, is tied together as one action: tucking in. If Marcus is screaming and I'm trying to just nurse him to get him to sleep quickly, I can't just listen to Alyssa's prayers and ask her her favorite part of the day, because that's not tucking her in. I have to do it all. Tonight she actually climbed into her blankets on her own after her prayer, because she was cold, and she told me that I didn't have to tuck her in, that she would give me the night off. I told her that since she was already in her covers, I'd just ask her about her day, and she said I didn't need to do that because I wasn't tucking her in that night. After a five minute discussion, we ended up deciding that we would go ahead talk about her day, then after I laid Marcus down I would take her blankets off of her, put them back on, and tuck her in. Kind of silly, but she was happy with it.

After "Tucking In" I sit on Ethan's bed and nurse Marcus while I sing the kids their bedtime songs. I always sing them in the same order. Most of it is kind of like a medley - the last word of the current song gives a clue as to what the next song will be (i.e. "I'm Trying to be like Jesus" ends in for these are the things Jesus taught, and the next song is "Teach Me to walk in the Light.") Actually, now that I think about it, those are the only two songs that do that. I thought there were more. Oh well. Alyssa knows the order, though, and if I'm quiet for a minute or two between songs, she'll tell me what I should be singing, and sometimes she sings them with me. Ethan's starting to sing them with us, too, but he's at the stage where he sings only the last word of each line, a split second too late. It's very cute.

I start singing with another song that we made up that goes Now it's time to say goodnight. Now it's time to hold you tight. We've said your prayers and talked about your day. Now it's time to say goodnight. Now it's time to say goodnight. Yes, now it's time to tuck you tight - into your bed. Lay down your head. Yes, now it's time to say goodnight. (Here's where it get's exciting.) Lay down your sleep head. Snuggle into your bed. (Crescendo) Close your eyes and go to sleep my little ones. (Now it's quiet again.) Now it's time to say goodnight. Yes, now it's time to hold you tight. Lay down in bed, and rest your sleepy head. For now it's time to say goodnight. Usually by now Marcus is done nursing, and I walk around the room, rocking him.

Next on the list is "I Am a Child of God." I like to think of that song as our comfort song. I sing it to my babies long before they're born, and then I sing it to them when they're nursing or being loved. In theory, if there's ever a problem, I can sing it to them and they know they're okay. I basically started that so I could calm them down when they're unhappy about being strapped in their car seat, but I sang it to Marcus when he was in the Emergency Room when he was a newborn, and at least it helped me feel better. Hopefully it helped him feel better, too.

The next song is one that my mom used to sing to us. I don't know where it came from. I googled it, and I could only find versions that were similar, but nothing exactly the same. Apparently, it's the "Go to Bed Song," and the version my mom sang to us goes Go to bed one, a golden sun. Go to bed two, a golden shoe. (And the chorus is) Sleep, sleep, go to sleep. Go to sleep, my little one sleep. And then it counts up to ten with the chorus after the even numbers. Its verses are three/tree, four/door, five/hive, six/sticks, seven/heaven, eight/gate, nine/sign, ten/hen.

Then I sing, "Jesus Once Was a Little Child," "I'm trying to be like Jesus," "Teach Me to Walk in the Light," and then if Marcus isn't asleep by then I add, "Love One Another," and "Heavenly Father Loves Me." Usually Marcus and Ethan are sleeping at this point, and I go give Alyssa another kiss on the forehead and say good night to her.

Why The Laundry Isn't Folded

So last night the plan was to clean the house as much as I could (hopefully with the kids' help), put the kids to bed, do a little bit of Wii Fit, talk to Brian on the computer, and fold our huge pile of laundry while watching Crusoe online.

The living room and kitchen were cleaned, we actually had scripture study, which we haven't really done since Brian moved out, I put the kids to bed, and did my little bit of Wii Fit. (I still haven't beaten Brian's hula hooping score.) Then I got on the computer to talk to Brian. We talked about his day, my day, the kids days...and then I did something I hadn't planned on doing. I checked blogs. I ended up looking at Shaille's newest post, which had a beautiful picture of the coolest idea ever: A Thankful Tree.

I coveted that tree. I had to have one! I didn't have any brown paper, so I went to my fabric tub and found a huge piece of brown felt. Yea! I was excited to use our silver marker on it (which we only use for special things, otherwise Alyssa would have worn it out by now) but the marker didn't show up on the felt. You could barely see it.

So I ended up going into full craft mode, and worked on the tree while watching tv, and then this morning we just went ahead and did a one shot "Put the Leaves Up Party" for our Thankful Tree. It was so much fun to look for the prettiest leaves in our yard with the kids. Alyssa drew some pictures and wrote some words on her leaves. Ethan scribbled, and Marcus wandered around the dining room table, wondering what we were all up to.

So I am thankful that Shaille posted her Thankful Tree, so we could have one of our very own.

Veterans Day

My Grandpa Harris used to tell us stories about when he was in the Civil War, nearly losing a leg, an arm, his life. I think there were even a couple of times that he brought out old coins and bullets and told us that he got them way back when he was in the Civil War. He wasn't even alive during the Civil War, so of course he didn't fight in it, but it sure was fun to hear him tell stories about "Old Abraham Lincoln" and such.

Grandpa was actually in the Korean War. He spent a year in Korea working on the construction team building roads through the jungles. My grandma (who you get the true stories from) says that he was on the tractors between the American troupes and North Korea's troupes, and that he would watch as bombs flew over his head. Luckily, he never got hurt, and he made it safely home to marry my grandma.

Here's a picture of him being greeted by his mother and sister:

* * *

On Saturday Alyssa was in the Veterans day parade in West Richland. Her teachers tried to teach the girls to march and cheer at the same time during practice the previous week, but it didn't work too well. So they just gave each girl a set of pom poms and had them walk along. Alyssa was not content with this, so she made up her own cheer, and she did it for the entire parade. (High V, Low V, Cross hands over head, and kick!) I can't watch the video of it without laughing - it's so cute!

Why I Love Him

1. He took us trick-or-treating in a bathrobe.
2. He took me to my friend's party when he thought he wouldn't know anybody. (He ended up knowing more people than I did.)
3. He fixed the chip in my windshield.
4. He helped me to do some serious canning for our family. You should see the pile of cans in our living room.
5. He rinsed his dishes all -week - long, and he swept the floor a couple of times.
6. He only made one comment at how fast Marcus' left over birthday cake was disappearing.
7. He took me on a fabulous date to Red Robin, where we ate way too many steak fries, and had so much fun talking and laughing with each other.
8. He got up with the kids on Sunday and let me sleep in. Then he helped get everyone ready for church.

We had a fabulous week with Brian at home. I admit that I did get a little upset when he went to work with his dad a couple of times. I was mad because I thought he was excited to come home and see everyone, but he wasn't excited to see me. When I realized that I was the one who was ruining everything by being grumpy because of something I thought he thought, everything got better. Anyway, it was great having him home, and I can't wait until he can come again.

A New Look, A New Carrie

So here's why I changed my blog:

1. Although I loved the blue background, I was in the mood for something new. So that explains the colors, no big deal. They're just colors.

2. I want my blog to truly reflect who I am, and the kind of person I am trying to become. When I wrote, "I am a professional mother..." on the sidebar, I was being positive about the position of a housewife. I was saying that it was my choice to be a wife and a mother. That instead of choosing a career outside the home, I was choosing to stay at home to take care of my family. And that is a great way to think about things. I thought that way long before I wrote it on my side bar. Motherhood was my career.

But in some ways, my feelings about that have changed. There are so many people out there who don't like their jobs, and even the people who do like their jobs, come to resent their jobs in some ways. Even though I love being a mother, when I looked at it as a job, I started to resent it. It became a job to make breakfast in the morning, to do the laundry, to clean the house, to put the children to bed at night. There was even one night when I was really tired, and Alyssa asked me why she couldn't just tell me one more thing. "Because I've clocked out for the night, and I'm not on duty anymore," I told her. And I feel so bad for saying that! When I thought of motherhood as a career, I became selfish with my time and feelings, and that is not being a good mother.

So lately I've been trying to readjust my additude. I've been trying not to yell at the kids, no matter what they've done or how long they've been doing it. I've been trying to spend more time with them doing fun and important things, like making cookies and cakes, and doing crazy crafts that Alyssa comes up with, and tucking them in at night. I don't want my children to think that I resent being a mother, because I don't.

I am a mother because I love my husband, because I love my children, because I want the best for them, and because the best is something that I can hope to provide.

And I just thought that my blog should reflect that. And that's what I'm going to write in my sidebar.


Note: For those of you who saw the hilarious, "A mother is like a captain on a ship..." on the sidebar, that was Brian. He's great.

Celebrate!

The boys helped make the cake. Marcus nearly gave me a heart attack when he reached for the beater after Ethan pushed the chair closer to the Kitchen Aid. It took nearly fifteen minutes for my heartbeat to get back to normal and for the adrenaline to fully leave my body.














Here's the super fabulous dinosaur cake, complete with built up muscular legs and arms (in other words, more frosting).


















We wanted to keep the party simple, so we just invited the grandparents. Here's Brian, his dad, and Ethan playing the Wii. Marcus just thinks the remote tastes yummy. (On a side note: Marcus loves to play Wii Fit. He'll stand on the board, look at the tv, and just smile.)









Alyssa and Ethan helped Marcus open his present from Grandma and Grandpa Jacks.













He was excited.














Yep, he was happy.


















He approved of the cake.














It took just a moment














or two














and then he knew exactly what to do.














After cake, Alyssa and Ethan enjoyed doing a puzzle with my mom.













And as much as Marcus liked the present, he loves the box.

Mr. Marcus

Marcus is twelve months old today!

1. Marcus is happy. He is so happy, and he smiles all the time.

2. Marcus loves to dance. If he hears just a tiny bit of music, he'll start "bustin' a move." He loves it when I put on some music and dance while I'm holding him, and he also just loves to dance on his own.

3. Marcus has the most handsome smile. When we were getting our utilities hooked up, the lady at City Hall said that Marcus' smile was "a perfect smile, almost like someone drew it on."

4. Marcus adores his older sister and brother. He loves it when Alyssa tickles him, and he loves to follow Ethan around, laughing.

5. Marcus loves to give kisses, and he is very exact about them. He only gives kisses on the lips. So no matter how much you try to give him your cheek, he'll track down your lips and give them a full-on, open mouth, slobbery kiss.

6. Marcus likes rice cereal, but other than that, he hasn't been very interested in baby food. He gets mad if he doesn't get the same food the older kids are getting.

7. Marcus is a wiggle worm. He doesn't hold still for anything. It is so hard to change his diaper and get him dressed.

8. Marcus gets so excited when I sweep the floor. He thinks I'm gathering all of the scattered food into a pile to make it more accessible for him to get to.

9. Marcus is down to waking up only twice during the night, usually around midnight and four o'clock.

10. Marcus is really good at nodding his head yes when he wants something and shaking his head no when he's doing something he's not supposed to do.

11. Marcus loves to be outside. He loves to toddle around the back yard, and he loves to sit in the stroller when we walk Alyssa to and from school.

12. Marcus has the fluffiest hair. Even when I brush it, it always fluffs back up after a little while.

Happy birthday, Marcus!

All Hallows Eve and All Hallows Day

Last night we passed a couple of houses with their Christmas decorations up. I supposed I'd better post about Halloween before it gets too late.

Halloween was great! We started cleaning the house on Thursday, to get ready for Brian to come home, but we were still doing laundry and trying to get everything ready on Friday morning as well. Both my mom and Brian's mom came over to help watch the kids and to put in a new zipper on my costume. (The first zipper broke when I was trying to zip it up to iron it. Stink.) It was wonderful having so much company and help. Then I rushed Alyssa to school, and rushed back. I worked on the last minute stuff for Brian's costume, then rushed back to Alyssa's school for her class Halloween party.

It was so much fun! If you want to feel like a celebrity, volunteer for your kindergartner's school parties. Alyssa kept saying to everyone: "That's my mom...This is my mom...That's my mom." She was so excited to have me there! Well, I helped kids twist their pipe cleaner spider legs to their spiders, then everyone decorated a pumpkin cookie, and we went home....to a clean house! Our mother's had been busy while I was away. My mom got the new zipper all the way on my dress and Brian's mom swept and mopped the main floor. How wonderful!

So then we hurried Alyssa into her clown dress and rushed her over to Zoe's house for a Halloween party. With things under control, both mothers left, and the boys and I played in the basement, sewed down the lining on my dress, and layed out everyone's costumes so we wouldn't be late for trunk-or-treating.

After picking up Alyssa from her fabulous party, we put Disney's Halloween Treat on the computer, and I started doing Alyssa's hair. It ended up looking like this.

I was so busy parting and rubber banding and curling that I didn't see Brian pull up outside. Normally I keep looking out the windows or sit on the front porch when it's about time for him to come home. But this time I was surprised when Alyssa said, "Daddy's home!" and ran away from the comb and rubber bands.

Well, we finished Alyssa's hair, ate a quick dinner, got our costumes on, and headed out the door almost a half hour after trunk-or-treating started. Oh well. The kids were bundled in two layers of clothes and their costumes, so no one complained about being cold while we went around collecting candy. Brian's dad took Ethan around, and apparently at one car they had a hand that popped out of the candy bowl. It scared Ethan so bad that he jumped backward and landed flat on his back on his dinosaur tail.

After trunk-or-treating we went to Grandma Orton's house for her traditional sucker ghosts, then we went up the block toward Brian's parent's house. (I am seriously boring myself writing this. A travelogue of Halloween! A part of me wants to erase the whole post and put in pictures, but it is written already, so it stays. Sorry.)

We stayed at Brian's parents for a while to have some brisket sandwhiches, then we went to Great Grandpa Jacks' house, then Christina's. My mom was at Christina's house, watching kids so Chris and Nate could go to a party. We hung out there for a bit, then went home and went to bed. Halloween over.

On Saturday we went to the carnival at Alyssa's school. They said the kids could wear costumes, so this was my chance to get the pictures I missed on Halloween.



After the carnaival we had a short visit from Brian's old roommate, Jeremy, and his girlfriend. And that evening Brian and I went to the Ransom's halloween party, which was a blast. Brian ended up going as Michael Phelps. Count the medals. He refused to wear a Speedo, so we settled for his red swim trunks and a bath robe.