And Finally, A Christmas Post

We had a wonderful Christmas vacation.  I loved having the kids home from school.  With Christmas being on Sunday, Brian didn't get much actual time off, but he was able to be with us enough to have fun.  We did a lot of things with my family and Brian's family, but we also just spent a lot of time at home, enjoying being home.

Because we had church at 9:00 in the morning, we "arranged" for Santa to come while we were gone, instead of during the night.  It worked great!  Christmas Eve we had everyone over at our house to play games and let the kids run around.  Then we went over to my parent's house for Grandma Harris' birthday party and doing the nativity and singing Christmas carols.

On Sunday we got up, and got ready for church, and went to Sacrament meeting, where Alyssa sang a solo in the ward choir (she and Kenzie Salisbury sang the ending: Noel! Noel! Noel! Noel!  Born is the king of Israel.) and I played the flute with the choir for a different song.  My parents played Santa while we were gone, then came and joined us to hear Alyssa sing.  The talks given Christmas Sunday were fabulous.

We went home to find our Santa gifts, and to find that if you leave a note for Santa telling him that his glass of milk is in the fridge, he replies with, "Ho! Ho! Ho!"  Apparently Santa feels the same way that I do about warm milk: nasty!

Alyssa got a small stuffed animal with an American Girls book full of fun questions to ask friends.  Rebecca got a bunch of bibs for when she's ready to start solids.  She also was supposed to get a high chair, but the boys saw it come in the mail, so we just went ahead and started using it so she could sit at the table with us during meals.

 The boys got a Beyblade stadium to share, and they each got a Beyblade.  They love them, and are always battling each other, or as Marcus says, "babbling."  When Ethan is at school, Marcus will ask me if I want to have a "Beyblade babble" with him, and we have a great time.  Really, though, those things are fun!

Sadie got a freakin' huge bone that she's already devoured, and Callie the Cat got some cat grass that she's ignored (apparently she prefers plastic) and a feather toy thing.

When we were done with our Santa presents, Brian's parents came over, and we opened everything under the tree.  This year we drew names for handmade gifts, which was so fun.  Alyssa made Rebecca a hooded towel, Ethan made Marcus strips of road that you piece together out of old jeans, Marcus made Brian a picture for his office, and Rebecca made (okay, fine, I did) a little stuffie for Ethan out of an old sock.  Ethan had said that he wanted a friend for his zuzu pet, Dowpia, so that's what we did.  We made it out of one of the socks that Brian gave me when he proposed.  I made Alyssa a scripture bag to match the scripture cover I gave her last Christmas, and Brian made me a printed powerpoint presentation offering an overnight getaway when Becca's older.

Other presents:  Alyssa got Twinkle Toe shoes; Ethan and Marcus got walkie talkies to share; Brian got meat thermometers, bear claws, and other cooking paraphernalia; Becca got a bedtime seahorse stuffy; and I got a Silhouette Cameo (I haven't set it up yet, but I can't wait.  I have a ton of projects I'd like to do!)  One of my favorite quotes from the day was when Marcus carried his walkie takie around for about five minutes, excited to have it, then when we put batteries in it and showed him how to use it, two minutes after talking back and forth with Brian he said, "Oh, it's a walkie talkie!"  Brian's mom had books made of the first two years of my blog, which I love!  It was such a surprise!  My parent's gave us a gingerbread cookie mix from Disneyland, complete with a Mickey Mouse cookie cutter.  It's so cute!

We went over to my parent's house in the evening to give them their gift, and we learned that my brother, Phil, had just gotten a counter offer on the house they want to buy.  They made an offer, but knew someone else was making one at the same time, so they didn't expect anything, but on Christmas afternoon they got an email with the counter offer.  We're so excited for them!

So it was a great Christmas.  I didn't take a lot of pictures, and half of what I took are fuzzy, but here's what we did get.

Marcus opened this present without taking the ribbon off.  it was really quite amazing.

The picture says, "What is your favorite thing about Dad?  I like him silly faces.  Marcus, age 4"

They both just conked out

Happy New Year!

I normally don't do new year resolutions.  I am the type of person that loves goals and charts and schedules and routines, so when the new year rolls around, I already have goals in place, so I don't really have a need for special resolutions.  Right now, though, I've gotten out of habit on things, and there are definitely some goals I need to put into place to get my life back on track.

1. Read the Book of Mormon twice
I have not been doing well with scripture study.  I try, but it just doesn't happen.  So I'm setting up a pretty big goal.  I know, you're probably thinking, "If you're not reading your scriptures now, why don't you just try to read it once instead of twice?"  My thinking is that I get more out of the scriptures when I read in larger blocks, so if I have to read two or three chapters each day to finish by a certain time, it at least will be more beneficial than reading just one chapter a day, so hopefully it will be easier to keep up.  My plan is to read (maybe even out loud) while I put Rebecca down for her morning nap each day.

Our stake president, President Andelin, gave us all a challenge at church today to read from the Book of Mormon every single day this year.  So not only do I have my personal goal for scripture study, but our family has decided to have family scripture study every day as well.  We used to be really good at family scripture study, but we've gotten off track lately, and we need to do better.  I printed off a chart that has the chapters in the Book of Mormon in it for Alyssa to fill out, a 2012 calendar for Ethan to cross off the days, and I got out a mason jar for Marcus to put marbles, so each of the kids will have a job that keeps track of our progress.  Plus, we're going to start having scripture study in the quiet room again, with everyone holding their scriptures. 

2. Go to the temple every month
This is one that Brian and I were trying to do last year, but it got messed up with me getting pregnant.  Rebecca is now old enough to leave with a grandma for a couple of hours, so we're going to start going more often.

3. Work on emergency preparedness
We have some food storage in the garage, and a couple of tubs with our 72 hour kits, but there is still so much that we need to do.  I'd like to do one thing each month to help with our emergency preparedness.  This month we're going to set up an emergency station in the garage.  We need to go through and update our 72 hour kit, and I'd like to purchase a Costco pack of water bottles for each family member, then stack it all in its own special spot in the garage.  For February I think I'd like to get the pantry stocked with canned food.  I reorganized our pantry on Saturday, and there's a lot of canned food spots that are empty.  After that I guess we'll get going on making sure we have the big things - like buying a bunch of flour one month, wheat another, sugar, etc.

4. Run a 10k
It has been over a year since I've been running.   I miss it!  The last time I ran was the Turkey Trot last Thanksgiving.  That was the first day that I woke up with morning sickness.  I faked being healthy pretty well for the run, but I wasn't able to go out after that.  When I was running before I was only doing 5k's, but my brother asked me if I wanted to try for a 10k in the fall.  Looks like I need to get training.  So the small goal for this is to run a 5k each month, starting in March, then switching to a 10k when I think I'm ready.

So there you have it.  I was going to put "finish my book" on the list, but I really don't know if that's going to happen.  I only have one page written of the rough draft.  With Rebecca still being small, and Marcus still at home needing attention, I just don't have time each day to sit down and work on it, and it's something that I don't want to sacrifice being a good mom for.  I think about it all the time, and I still want to work on it, but it might take me longer than I originally planned.

Alyssa's Act of Kindness

Alyssa's class did a project this week called, "Act of Kindness," where they each had to do an act of kindness for someone outside their family, and make a poster with a three paragraph essay about it.  Then, all of their families were invited to a social at the school library, where each of the students were able to present their project.  They did it "museum" style, where they each stood by their poster in shifts, and the parents walked around, hearing each presentation.

Alyssa's act of kindness was doing service for our neighbors, the Salisbury's.  Her original idea was to open doors and hang up coats for people at our ward Christmas party, but the car accident messed that up a little.  Then, she said, "I hold Rebecca all the time for you.  I can do 'taking care of Rebecca' as my project."  I said okay, and the first time we had a moment to make the poster was the afternoon before it was due.  Right when Alyssa came home from school we got out our supplies, then I read the assignment paper again and was reminded of the "outside the family" rule.  That's when we started scrambling to do some service.

Alyssa wanted to help the Salisbury's, so she called them up to ask what she could do, and she and Ethan rode their scooters over to clean their toy room.  I sent the camera with them so Shaylene could take some pictures, then Alyssa came home and got to work on her poster.

Everything in Alyssa's poster is her idea.  She wrote and typed the essay by herself, cut out and framed the pictures, and put captions on the pictures by herself.  She was the one who wanted to paint it, and she spent all evening adding stars and flowers.  See the orange sun up in the corner?  Nope - flower.  She told me it's a "sunset flower."

I am so proud of Alyssa for doing this project.  She was so cute when she was presenting it.  All the kids were very professional and grown up during the social.  They all did a great job!

It's teachers like the one Alyssa has now that makes me want to keep her in public school.  If we were lucky enough to have teachers like Mrs. Halverson all through her school career, I'd keep her in without a second thought.  I loved this project.  It not only teaches our kids how to write, make a poster, and present their ideas, but it teaches our kids to think of others and be good, caring citizens.

A Christmas Miracle? Crash-Crash? That's the Way the Pie Falls?

I am really in a slump with my titles.

Yesterday was a little crazy.  I made three pies (two pecan and one lemon meringue) for the ward Christmas party.  Brian picked up Ethan from school and took him to buy groceries for a couple of Salvation Army boxes and to buy a fan for our fireplace.  Brian then installed the fan.  The battery died on our van, so we pulled out our battery charger (you can probably tell that this has happened before - who has their own battery charger?)  and charged up the van when it was time to pick Alyssa up from school.  I picked Alyssa up using Brian's car.

Ethan had a birthday party to go to that I forgot about, so after Alyssa came home we all loaded up in the newly charged van, with Alyssa holding a cookie sheet with the pecan pies and me holding a cookie sheet with the meringue, and with a stack of paper plates for the Christmas party at my feet.  We rushed to Walmart and Brian ran in to buy a birthday present.  (Can I take a moment to say that I really don't like Walmart?  I have many many, multiple reasons like: nothing is where it's supposed to be, even their workers aren't given any information on where everything is supposed to be, so they're not very helpful either, but the reason yesterday is that Brian picked up a toy that said it was on sale for $15. It rang up as $20, but he didn't fight it because we were so late.)  Anyway.  Moving on.

We rushed from Walmart to the birthday party over at Mid Columbia Gymnastics just off of Gage Blvd.  It's right by where Skate West used to be.  (Memories.)  After dropping Ethan off at his party, we had an hour to kill.  So we went to Brian's office to pick up some email paperwork we do at home, went to Target to get some poster board for Alyssa's school project, then we took a drive around the temple before picking Ethan up.  And you have to remember that all this was done with pies on our laps.

We picked up Ethan, and started to head over to the church to help get things ready for the ward party.  It was just after 6:00.  The party started at 6:30.  Our original plan included dropping off the pies and plates first, then doing everything else, but we left too late to do that, so by this time we were hoping that people weren't worrying about the plates being missing.

As we sat at a stoplight on Gage Blvd, Brian checked his phone to see if he had missed a text or a call from the bishop, and asked me to plug his phone in to charge.  As I was doing so, there was a huge, "BAM!" and we were all shoved forward.  I dropped the cell phone, heard Alyssa scream, then we all shifted back into our seats.  Luckily, we were at an intersection that turned into a small parking lot, so as Brian pulled in to the lot, I turned around to check on the kids.  Alyssa and Rebecca were crying, but other than that, everyone seemed fine.

I hopped out of the car and set the lemon meringue pie on the ground.  "I'm so sorry, ma'am," a man was saying to me.

"It's okay.  It's okay," I said both to him and myself.  Then I remembered that you're not supposed to say anything that might admit fault after an accident and wondered if by saying "It's okay," was telling the man that it was "okay" to run into our car.  "These things...happen,"  I said, which sounded a lot better.

This very short conversation took place as I was pulling the side car door open to check on Rebecca.  I looked her over real quick and felt her arms and legs, then quickly unstrapped her and lifted her into my arms, all the while saying, "It's okay, it's okay."

Brian and the man from the other car checked on Alyssa.  She said her head and back hurt, and she couldn't stop crying.  I went back to my seat and had Alyssa come sit with me.  I sat holding Rebecca in one arm, with my other arm around Alyssa while Brian and the man worked out the details.  The man was apologetic, and very concerned about the children.  Apparently he had just come from putting studded tires on his car, so that slowed his stopping time, plus he got distracted by something - I never heard what.

While I sat in the car, I again asked the kids if they were okay, if they hurt anywhere, and I kept checking Becca to make sure she was alright.  After the girls settled down, I told the kids, "If you guys hadn't been wearing your seat belts, and Rebecca hadn't of been in her car seat, this could have been a lot worse."  I wondered if I had used words strong enough to get the message through about the importance of seat belts, but apparently the crash had done that for me, because that's all I had to say.  I watched Marcus' face just fall when I said the words, "a lot worse."  I could see that he understood the seriousness of the situation.

The car seems fine.  Brian said the back door kind of bumps and makes a funny noise when you open it, and we're getting it looked at on Monday, but the bumper is not even scratched.  We were surprised.  From the noise and the force that we were hit, we were expecting the bumper to be completely messed up.  The kids are fine.  The boys don't seem to be physically affected at all, Alyssa started feeling better once she was able to calm down, and Rebecca seems to be her regular happy self.  Brian and I are fine.  Brian said his neck was a bit sore last night, and my back and neck feel a bit stiff this morning, but over all we are fine.  I'm just so thankful that we're all okay.

And the biggest miracle of all: the pies were fine.  The filling of the meringue kind of shifted inside the pie crust, and one of the pecans fell to the floor, but all three pie survived the accident enough to be able to be served at the ward Christmas party.  Truly a miracle.  Plus, we even made it to the church just before the party started, and no one had been concerned about the missing plates.

No Idea What to Call This One

Three things popped up on my Internet feeds yesterday that made me think.  First, after the kids took off for school and Marcus played with blocks, I rocked Becca to sleep and watched "Killing Us Softly 4: Advertising's Image of Women [Trailer]" which talks about the flawlessness of the women in advertising photos.  Then, later that afternoon, I read a friend's blog post about Mormon mommies going to "visit relatives" for a few weeks and coming home with tummy tucks, facelifts, and whatnot, and the worst part, really, is that the person who was sharing this information was supposedly sharing LDS women's "secrets to keeping our lives together and perfect."  And then I read a news article about one of my friend's art exhibits, titled "Princess Religion."  The exhibit is about how the Disney princesses and other princesses shape our young girls' expectations about what they should look like and what they should do with their lives.

And all of this got me thinking throughout the day, which made me fully prepared to respond when we sat in the doctor's office and Alyssa looked at a picture advertising some skin stuff and said, "I just was to be perfect.  I want my skin to be flawless like hers."  Honestly, she truly said the word, "flawless."

I told her that even the lady in the picture wasn't flawless.  The picture had been sent through the computer to make the lady look the way she does in the picture.  I hope she listened to me.

Now here's my thoughts on it all.  I'll take them one at a time.

Killing Us Softly 4 by Jean Kilbourne

I love that this woman is speaking out against this issue of portraying women as being prefect and skinny, and using women's bodies as objects to sell products.  Photoshop wasn't as common when I was young, and I had no idea that the pictures on magazines weren't just taken and simply put on the cover as is.  I would look at the pictures on grocery store magazines and think that I was abnormal, because I had faint stretch marks on my outer thighs from growth spurts.  I wondered why I still had cellulite, even though I exercised.  And, yes, Jean Kilbourne comments that the ladies in pictures have no pores - I thought my pores were huge and wondered what these models used to get their skin to be so perfect.

I remember the first time I saw a before/after picture of a model.  The lady in the finished picture looked nothing like the lady coming in to get her picture taken.  The computer specialists shaved off fat, smoothed wrinkles, deleted bags under her eyes, even changed the color and brightness of her skin and hair.  I discovered this picture a little after Alyssa was born (when my body was baggy and stretch-marked) and I remember how shocked and relieved and empowered I was to have that information.

I have since come across a couple of websites that show real pictures of naked women.  I know it sounds bad - "I've looked at websites that show pictures of naked women" - but the purpose of these websites is to show teenage girls what real women look like.  I applaud the people who run these websites.  I think they need to be used with extreme caution(?)  I don't know what word I'm looking for, exactly.  They need to be used with sober judgement, but I do think that these websites have their place, and I'm sure they've fulfilled their purpose of helping teens and women feel better about their bodies.

Makeover? from NaDell's Blog

Okay, if you don't have the time to skip over to NaDell's blog to read her post, I'll sum it up for you.  She was talking to someone who is not LDS, who used to have LDS friends that let her in on a little secret of how Mormon moms always looks like they "have it together."  The secret that was shared is that these moms use plastic surgery to shape their bodies after having babies.

I guess my gripe with the whole thing is not the plastic surgery bit, because, really, it's their body, they can do what they want with it, and it's not my place to judge.  And I know that my information is coming from a third party, so who knows how much this lady fudged on details while talking with NaDell or how much of NaDell's opinions that I'm mixing in with the actual story while I'm remembering it.  My gripe is that if people actually do this, and go around toting it like it's the Mormon Mommy Secret to Happiness, it makes me mad.

Anyway, here's what I commented on NaDell's post, a little bit edited.

"Wow. Really - wow. I didn't even know we are like this. It makes me very sad that someone took a missionary opportunity to share something so shallow. What about "Mormon moms are happy because they have Family Home Evening" or something like that? That is very sad.

I'm kinda on the fence about plastic surgery. I do agree with Kori that sometimes it can be beneficial, and in some cases even necessary, but obviously that's something that is hard to judge (and not our place to judge). On the other side: my skin does not stretch AT ALL and I have tons of stretch marks and loose skin from being pregnant. I would love the magic that a tummy tuck would do to that. But does that mean I'll ever get a tummy tuck? No. My body is the way it is, because I've had children. My body is the way it is, because of the lifestyle I chose, meaning I CHOSE to be a mom, and the body I've got is just part of the package deal. I want to teach my daughters to love their bodies despite imperfection, and how could I do that if I don't accept the body that I have?

I'm not saying that you shouldn't try to improve your body by eating healthy and exercising, but that should be with focusing on living a healthy lifestyle and having a healthy body, not with how good you look. And definitely not changing your body in a competition to be better than others.

Nice post, NaDell! You really got me thinking."

Right now I'm counting calories and trying to eat healthier and exercising to lose the pregnancy fat that's accumulated over the years.  I'm trying to do it in a healthy way, because I want Alyssa to see me making wise choices about what I eat to lose weight and be healthy.  I wouldn't want my daughters to see me starving myself to be skinny, and I definitely wouldn't want to teach my daughters that if you're unhappy with the way you look, then a trip to the surgery room will make everything better.

I also realize that my body is never going to look the way it did before having children.  I have wider hips, a thicker waist in general, loose skin, and I even have that bump of loose skin hanging over my c-section scar that will no never away, no matter how skinny I ever get.  And I'm okay with that.

One of my favorite things about going to the Great wolf Lodge water park last month was that while we were there, the place was mostly filled with families with young children, and all the moms and dads running around cared more about having fun with their kids than looking good in their bathing suits.  There was cellulite galore in that place, and nobody cared.  We all had the attitude of, "This is my body.  I have to put it in a swimsuit to have fun here.  I may not look good in a swimsuit, but I'm doing it anyway, because I'm going to have a blast!"

Princess Religion by Emily Fox

I really think Emily is onto something here.  From what I've read the art exhibit is focusing on the ideal that princesses create of what it takes to live a successful life, i.e. be beautiful, get the guy, live in a "castle", etc.  And I think it also ties in to one of the points that Jean Kilbourne is trying to make about physical appearances being the key to our happiness.

Have you ever noticed that when Ariel sits down, her stomach doesn't scrunch up and get thicker?  I used to think that that was normal.  I know, me taking a drawn cartoon character and setting her as the epitome of "normal."  I don't think the logic center of my brain had kicked in yet.  And because I had set that standard as being normal, I thought I was fat.  And then a little later I was at a slumber party saying, (and you have to say this in your head with a nerdy voice, 'cause it makes it more fun) "When I sit down, my stomach fat scrunches up.  I'm so huge!" and my good friend Bridget responded with something like, "Oh my gosh, Carrie, everyone's does!" (And for those of you who know Bridget, do that in her exasperated, how could you be so silly voice, and it will make it that much better.)  So that's when I realized that Ariel was not the body type I should be striving for.

But I don't think Emily is just talking about physical appearances.  I think she's also trying to make a point about the ideal that the only way to live a happy life is by finding your prince and living happily ever after.  Well, whether that's what she means or not, that's something I took away from her pictures.  I know several women who have said, in essence, "I wouldn't change who I married, I wouldn't trade my children for anything, but if I could go back in time and just push that wedding date back a couple of years, I would," and I feel the same way.  I wouldn't trade Brian or the kids for anything, but I wish I would have taken better advantage of the opportunities available to me before I got married.  I wish I would have gone overseas to teach children English.  I wish I would have gone on a mission.  I wish I would have concentrated harder on graduating from college.  I wish I would have done a lot of things, but the mission is a big one.

Sometimes I envy my friend Katie.  She found Prince Charming and told him, "I've always wanted to serve a mission, so you'll have to wait for me."  She probably said it a lot nicer than that, though.  And that's what happened: she went to Spain, he waited, and after she got home, they got married.  And the really cool part is that she continued to go to school, got her Masters, and studied Chinese so that she could teach it to her children.  

So even though I'm happy with my life, and I know that just because I'm married with kids it doesn't mean I can't stop learning and growing and experiencing, sometimes I wish I could just go back and change things, just a little.  I want to go back and make myself more content with my physical appearance - to be less concerned with what is or isn't normal, and to be happy with my body.  I want to go back and really take advantage of being young - trying new things, and learning new things.

But since I can't go back, I want to make sure that I spend the rest of my life not comparing myself to others, being happy with who I am, and pushing myself to try and learn new things. And most importantly, I want my children to know that what they look like on the outside doesn't equal their worth on the inside and that they can be happy with who they are, even if they don't match up to the ideal.

5 Years on December 5th

Happy birthday to Carrie's Burden.
Happy birthday to Carrie's Burden
Happy Birthday to Carrie's Burden.
Happy birthday to you!  Cha -cha-cha

Ethan always adds the cha-cha's when we're singing the birthday song.  In fact, I don't think he sings any other part of the birthday song.  He just waits with a smile on his face for the correct part to insert his cha-cha's into.

I can't believe I've been blogging for five years!  It sure doesn't feel like five years, but I guess it has to be, because my archive list on the side bar is getting pretty long.  I remember sitting at the computer, reading Brooke's blog (the first blog I had ever seen) and thinking, "I want to do that, but can I do it as cool as Brooke does?"  Hopefully somewhere in all my 522 posts, I've at least come a little bit close to Brooke's coolness.

I have to say that even though I was scared to start posting - scared what people would think of what I had to say, scared that people might not even care that I had anything to say - I am so glad that I started this blog.  So glad.  I love looking back on previous posts to see what we were up to a week or a month or a year ago.  It may be vain, but I love reading my own blog!  I love looking at the pictures of my kids, reading about my trials, and especially reading about my blessings.

One of my first posts was about singing Christmas carols around the Christmas tree.  Ethan was a baby, and he sat on my lap, and Alyssa sat beside us while we sang.  Alyssa was still little, so I did most of the singing.

This year, Alyssa sings louder than I do, and I think she knows the words to some of the songs better than I do.  Ethan joins in on the chorus - Jingle Bells seems to be his favorite.  We've added Marcus to the mix, but he hasn't sat still for very long while we've sung.  We've also added Rebecca, who loves every minute of it, and Brian isn't busy studying anymore, so he joins us more often, too.  I love it.

I think one of my favorite things about blogging is how it helps me remember all those little snippets of time.  If I hadn't written it down, I probably would have forgotten sitting on the wooden floor of our little house on Hawthorne Street, singing carols with my babies.  I don't want to forget these moments, and hopefully this blog will help me to remember all the special times that are still ahead of us.

So This is Why the Cashier Gave Me Such a Strange Look

So last night Becca and I went grocery shopping at Winco while Alyssa was at ballet.  We bought chicken, some stocking stuffers,  some stuff for having friends over for dinner on Saturday, and pepperoni and sausage for homemade pizzas sometime soon.  Rebecca got tired of being in her car seat, so I was holding her while loading the groceries onto the conveyer belt.  The cashier lady was very nice, and we talked about babies and Christmas.

Just as I was paying for everything, Brian called.  I moved our cart through the lane, answered the phone, and heard Brian say, "Are you going to Target tonight?"  This made me remember that I forgot to buy Hershey Kisses for our Kissmas tree, and I gasped, "Oh no!  The Hershey Kisses!"

I grabbed the cart, with my cell phone balanced between my shoulder and ear, still holding Rebecca, and maneuvered around and through the next lane over, heading for the candy isle.  I crossed the entire store, talking to Brian, looking for Hershey Kisses, when I let out another very loud, "Oh no!"

I had left my groceries back at the checkout stand.  This is when I put Becca back in her car seat, hung up with Brian, then dashed back to the checkout stand, where a couple of workers were already bagging my groceries.

"I am so sorry," I said.  "I don't even know what I was thinking."  The lady bagging her groceries across from me chuckled, and she seemed to be the only one amused by the whole thing.  All the workers seemed to be, well, shocked and confused.  I really through them for a loop.

edited to add:  And I think I left  the Hershey Kisses at Winco, because I can't find them anywhere.
edited again to add:  I did.  I had to go back for them.

Cloth Diapering Carrie's Way

Holy cow - I am such a mom.  Using words like "poop" in every day conversations.  Reader beware: this is long, probably boring, and discusses poop.

Okay, there's really nothing special about the way I use cloth diapers.  I'm sure it's not much different than other moms out there.  I mean, most of what I do is from things I learned from other moms on the Internet.  But I guess I just want to share how much I love cloth diapering and write down our routines, which will help me know what information to give my little sister when I pass the diapers down to her someday (if she wants them, of course).

First off, we use Bumgenius diapers.  I used 3.0's with the boys, and now I have Becca in both 3.0's and 4.0's one-size.  I was perfectly happy with the 3.0's for the boys, but now I'm finding that I actually prefer the 4.0's.  I like how the stuffing comes out so they dry faster and fluffier.  I also like how they come with snaps instead of Velcro.  (I removed the Velcro and added my own snaps on the boys' diapers. which was a lot of work.)  Once the boys were old enough, it was really easy for them to figure out how to take the Velcro diapers off, plus the Velcro started to fray in the wash after a while.

For newborns, you're supposed to fold a flannel wipe in half to help liquids absorb faster so they don't leak.  We did that for a while, but for some reason we stopped.  I think it might have been that I didn't make enough wipes to last until wash day, so I would run out too soon.  So I haven't found the time to make more wipes, plus I'd like to have a better coverage now that she'll be starting solids in a month or two, so I went ahead and ordered some of the Bumgenius liners, and they're on their way to us now.  Liners are also good for collecting poop when the baby is on solids.  See, you can put breastfed poop straight in the wash machine without rinsing the diaper, but once you have "real" poop, you need to rinse it in the toilet before putting the diaper in the laundry.  When you have a liner, you only need to rinse it instead of the whole diaper, which is much easier.

I never used special laundry detergent on the boys when they were in diapers, which is probably why I had problems.  I did look up which "normal" detergents you can use on cloth diapers, but the boys kept getting rashes with whatever I tried, so I ended up just using bleach on them, which, broke down the waterproof layer on the diapers.  I had to throw them away and buy a whole new set after about a year of using them.  Not the cheapest way to diaper, I can tell you that.  So this time I did a little bit smarter research, and we now use Nellie's All Natural Laundry Soda for both our diapers and our normal laundry.  I buy it from cottonbabies.com, because they ship laundry detergent for free.  I love how Nellie's gets things clean, and it doesn't leave a detergent smell on our clothes.  Plus, Rebecca doesn't get any rashes from it, and I don't have to use bleach.  I do, though, use 1/4 cup of bleach once a month to rinse away any ammonia build-up, which is recommended by Bumgenius.

I wash a load of diapers every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, doing the 1/4 cup of bleach on the first Monday of every month, because there's a bigger build-up of dirty diapers over the weekend.  Speaking of which, I really don't know how many diapers I do each load.  We have 12 of the 4.0's (bought during a buy 5, get one free sale) and about 10 3.0's, and we always have some left on Mondays.  I do a hot/cold rinse on the diapers, then add the detergent and do a regular hot/cold cycle.  A lot of moms do a rinse cycle after that, but I've found that we're doing just fine without it, so then I put them in the dryer, and then when they're done I turn the 3.0's inside out and hang them to finish drying, and fold the 4.0's and put them away.  Okay, to be honest, about 40% of the time the diapers just stay in the laundry basket until they're needed, but I do try to get them hung up or put away most of the time.

Oh, back to the wipes.  When we started cloth diapering the boys, I bought all sorts of wipes, trying to get the best and the softest.  We tried bamboo wipes, velour wipes, and flannel wipes, and I can honestly say that I like flannel the best.  I also  prefer to make my own, not just because it's cheaper, but I like to make them nice and big.

And last topic: stuffing.  Bumgenius 3.0's are designed extremely similar to a disposable diaper.  It has its stuffing sewn in, so you can use it just like a disposable, but it also has a pocket that you can add extra stuffing to for more protection.  The 4.0's are just a pocket diaper - basically a shell with a pocket that you stuff the fluff into, which is one of the reasons they dry faster. You pull the fluff out of the diaper before putting it into the wash.  Right now for normal diapers, I put in just one stuffing, but for overnight, I add in a newborn insert along with the stuffing.

So there you go.  A very long post on cloth diapering stuff you never thought you wanted to know.  Congratulations if you made it this far - I know I wouldn't have before I started to use cloth.  You know, I never thought I would use cloth, but now that I do, I absolutely love it.  I love not having to run to the store when we're getting low on diapers, and I really do love the feel of cloth on my babies.

Please Excuse Me While I Get Caught Up

Okay, now I need to remember all those things I wanted to blog about.  We left off with Halloween...

After Halloween we had a Do Nothing Day on Saturday.  With Alyssa in ballet and soccer, and Brian making Elder's Quorum visits on Tuesdays, we had no evenings or Saturdays that weren't completely busy.  So back in the beginning of October I looked ahead on our calendar and booked November 5th to be a Do Nothing Day.  We promised not to schedule anything on this day, and we didn't, but I had to stop myself sometimes from planning things to do at home.  I kept thinking, "Oh, it would be so fun to make this on Do Nothing Day," or "We could starting painting this room on Do Nothing Day," or "The kids would love to do this craft  on Do Nothing Day."  And then I would have to stop and think about what those three sentences had in common: Do Nothing Day.  And that means do nothing.  And we did. It was so great!  The kids watched Netflix all day.  Brian lay in bed and played games on his laptop.  I tried to take a nap with Rebecca, but I couldn't fall asleep, so instead I started to tell myself a story.

See, I'm one of those people who hit the pillow at night and is asleep within seconds, but the times I can't go to sleep I start telling myself a story and by the time I have the setting figured out, I'm snoring.  But on our do nothing Saturday I could just not get to sleep.  So instead I kept going with my story, and then because Rebecca was laying on my chest, I started dictating ideas to Brian so I wouldn't forget them.  I'm saving those papers, by the way, because they are hilarious.

example:  (Brian's notes)
1. Bad Guy -we'll call him "George" - not a monkey
 2. Small Kingdom A. "Special" princess - "great personality"
5. Large Kingdom A. Land dying - needs Captain Planet!

Those are just a couple of little examples.  A lot of it is not politically correct, so I'm leaving it out.  So anyway.  Long story, short - I am now writing a book.  I've thought about it many times through the years, but never got serious about it.  Now that I have an idea, I'm going with it.  And I'm going to be serious about it.  My goal is to have it ready to turn in to publishers by 2013.  I've got the story line all mapped out, and now I'm just ready to start drafting.  Oh, and Alyssa was there when I was telling the story to Brian, and on the next Monday she came home from school with a note card that she had written the "5 Steps to Writing" on to help me out.  I'm keeping that, too.

Next thing to talk about:  Marcus' birthday.  Marcus was excited to have a birthday.  He was excited for his birthday, but he didn't want to be four.  He wanted to stay three.  I don't know why.  Now that he is four, he's fine with it, but he did not want it to happen before it happened.

I just put this picture up and asked Marcus, "Who's that?" With no hesitation he answered, "Batman."

His birthday was on a Sunday, which made it perfect to have all the family over for his party.  We had a Batman party for him, because he loves everything Batman.  He's never seen a movie or an episode, but this boy loves Batman.  We had chocolate waffles with ice cream and chocolate syrup, and we had a coloring contest to keep all the cousins busy.  We had a picture of Regular Batman for them to color, a picture of Lego Batman, and a picture of Simba from the Lion King, because it went by on Google Search and Marcus liked it.  Then we had Marcus judge them and the winners got a piece of Halloween candy from our stash.  We were going to have my brother come in his super cool Batman Halloween costume (pictured below) but he said it's coming apart in a couple of places and needs some work before he wears it again.  Luckily, Marcus forgot that Batman was invited to his party, and he had a great time.

After Marcus' birthday, we took a short vacation to Great Wolf Lodge Waterpark in Grand Mound, Washington.  Brian needed to take some time off, so we used our credit card reward points to get some extra family time together.  We headed over on a Wednesday.  It was a beautiful drive - about 5 hours.  Rebecca slept almost the whole way, Alyssa read and listened to music, the boys also slept, Brian drove, and I worked on my book.  (That's when I finished mapping out the story line.)

As close as I could get to a picture with all the kids together. 

This is what Rebecca did most of the time.  That's Brian's chest hair - not mine.

Sorry it's sideways.  Blogger has a mind of it's own.

The Jacks version of Where's Waldo.  Find Brian and the boys.

Alyssa and her friend Elizabeth.

We had a great time.  Even Rebecca was happy, because at first we put her in a life jacket and she spent a few hours with something constantly by her mouth to chew on.  The boys weren't big enough to go on the big slides, but Brian and I took turns going on them with Alyssa.  Alyssa made friends with a couple of girls, the boys loved the wave pool and the slides for their size, and I enjoyed my favorite thing about family vacations: watching my kids have fun.

Does everyone else take this many pictures of their babies sleeping?  I just think she's so precious!  And look at those eye lashes - one of the many reasons I'm glad I married Brian.  All of our kids have his beautiful long eyelashes.

 Next we headed up Seattle way to visit the Sumsions.  While there we went to Fort Worden to walk through an old (built in the 1800's) battle artillery, watched Dual Survival (we're now hooked), ate aebleskivers (guess what kind of pan we're getting for Christmas) and yummy German food at a Europub, and bought Brian a couple of suits at a Veteran's Day sale.  We love hanging out with the Sumsions, and we're so glad they let us join them for a couple of days.

Marcus and I enjoyed the echoes.

braving the rain

Oh, Marcus scared Nelsa and  I when he climbed up here.  It was wet and slippery, and he ran down the slope when we asked him to get down.  What you don't see in this picture is just at the bottom of the slope, on the left, it drops off completely.  We were sure he'd fall right off.

So far November has been pretty fun.  Right now Ethan is home from school, because Kindergartners don't have school during parent-teacher conference week.   My mom is over playing Monopoly Junior with the boys as I type.  We're going to an Eric Herman concert on Friday with all of the cousins.  Then, of course, we have Thanksgiving vacation.  I'm looking forward to that! 

Becca's Motto: I Can Eat That

 Every time something comes within eight inches of Rebecca's face, she lunges for it with her mouth wide open as if to say, "I can eat that!"  And she does.  She chews on everything!

See?  She came this close to eating the camera.

Happy Halloween!

Carving pumpkins last week

The crew, right before heading out to trick-or-treat

The back side

 Remember how Brian and I had this plan for all of us to be Phineas and Ferb characters?  Alyssa was totally on board, but the boys were not, and even though we tried, we couldn't convince them to be Ferb and Phineas.

Alyssa started out as an Egyptian girl, then an Egyptian princess, but when she went to a Halloween birthday party, everyone called her "Cleopatra."  She came home, looking a little disappointed, told me what happened, and said, "I think I want to change what I want to be for Halloween."

"Oh, no you don't,"  I thought.  "I worked hard on that costume.  I'm not making another one."

"I'm going to change my costume to Cleopatra!" she said.  Yea!  I was happy about that one.  It turns out that there was only one other girl at the birthday party, which is why she came home disappointing.

Ethan wanted to be Super Dog, and the best part about it is that he had an absolute idea in his head of what Super Dog looks like, and he told me what he wanted.  I thought it would be fun to put a bone and an "S.D." on the back of his cape, but no - Super Dog doesn't have that on his cape.  Ethan said Super Dog's cape had stripes - green stripes.  I thought it would be fun to make him a collar with an I.D. tag, but Super Dog doesn't have a collar, because, "he doesn't have an owner."  Duh!  Before I made his costume, I asked Ethan where he learned about Super Dog, and I wasn't getting any straight answers.  I had already Googled it, but the Super Dog I was finding wasn't matching up to what Ethan was describing.

"Is he from a movie or cartoon?" I asked.

"No," Ethan said.  "He's real."

"Where did you see him?"

"On a cloud," he said.  Okay.  So I followed his instructions, and he ended up pretty happy with the end product.

Marcus kept going back and forth and all around with what he wanted to be.  Batman.  A cheetah.  Batman.  Baby dog.  I don't know what else.  At first when I showed him the rocket man idea, he liked it, but then he kept changing his mind, so  I asked if I could surprise him, and he was excited about that.  Rocket man it was, then.  He didn't like his costume at first, but once the other two kids started putting theirs on, he put on his jetpack, and ran around the room making rocket noises.

Here's a closeup of his shirt.  How could he not like this shirt?  The moon has crators! I, myself, am quite proud of this shirt.

Our tribute to Phineas and Ferb

 I was talking to my mom on the phone a couple weeks ago, trying to figure out what I could be to go along with Brian's Dr.  Doofenshmirtz and Becca's Perry the Platypus.  I originally wanted to be Vanessa,  Brian wanted me to be Lindonna.  I was stuck.  Then  I thought of my brother Philip.  When Philip was in high school he made a huge R2D2 costume that he actually got inside, sat on a tricycle, and rode around the church parking lot for trunk-or-treat.  A few weeks ago he was making a Tardis (?) costume out of an old refrigerator box to go along with Erin's Dr. Who costume.  I thought of this, gave a loud laugh, and said, "If I was Phil, I would make myself an Inator!"  But then I thought, "Why not?"  I didn't do my costume nearly as cool as Philip would have - it's just a cheap sweatshirt that says, "-inator" on it, but at least I was something.  And the sweatpants I got with it are really comfy.

Another shot of Becca the Platypus, because she's so stinkin' cute!

Our jack-o-lanterns.  It's hard to see the kids standing by their pumpkins, but it goes (left to right) Ethan, Alyssa, Marcus. Ethan and Alyssa carved theirs all by themselves. Ethan even wouldn't let us look at his until it was all finished.  I love how it turned out!  Marcus designed his, and I carved it.

Enjoying our spoils after trick-or-treating while watching Disney's "Legend of Sleepy Hollow"

Dr. Brian Wants Everyone to be Safe this Halloween

The Baby Says, "What?!?"

Rebecca and I have been playing a game this morning that we've been calling, "The Baby Says."  Basically, I say, "The baby says some crazy random thing" and Rebecca smiles and laughs.  It's a fun game.  So far the baby has said, among other things, "I've got a bellyfull, I've got a bellyfull, I've got a bellyfull of jelly!"

and

"I've got a bellyfull of milk!  Ooh, chocolate milk!"

and

"I love it!"

and when I got my phone camera out...

"Whatchyou doin' Mama?"

I don't tell you these things to demonstrate how incredibly funny I am, especially since now that they're written down, they don't seem funny at all.  But they sure are fun to say when you have a sweet little thing sitting on your pillow, just smiling and laughing at you.  She really does have a great sense of humor, or at least she thinks she does, because the baby says, "I'm so funny!"

edited to add:  I just discovered that the baby loves doing the Macarena.

Who Done It?

Last Friday Brian and I held a Murder Mystery party, which we've been trying to do since we moved in over a year and a half ago!  We finally were able to get enough people together at one time, and it was so fun!  We did one called "Way Out West" from Freeform Games.  (I think I've mentioned before that they're the absolute best Murder Mystery company we've used. 

This is the closest we came to a "group shot."  it's just as everyone was arriving and introducing themselves to each other.  

The Judge

 Willie and Nathan

Andrea's husband, Barlow, won the award for best acting, probably because he was the deputy sheriff and he was doing a great job of arresting and interrogating people, but I think Andrea should have won.  There were a couple of times that I would look at her, and she just looked upset, and I thought, "Oh, no!  She's not having fun." but then when I would start walking over to her, I would hear that she was complaining about something or someone and was perfectly in character.  Andrea won best costume, though.  She's in the peach dress.

 

 

Poor Jodie got shot, and she's unconscious on the floor.

I think Matt got shot at the most during the night.  Everyone seemed to be against him.

 

  Karrie got put in jail, but I'm not sure why. As you can see, we allowed cupcake eating in jail.  Those were good cupcakes.

I'm sorry some of the pictures are blurry.  I think the settings on our camera have been set funny for quite a while, but I don't know how to fix it.  Oh well.  We're glad to finally get some people together so we can make more friends in our ward.  We had a great time!

Nursery: Complete

We actually have a room in our house that is done!  And we actually have a nursery - yea!  I thought briefly while I was pregnant about having Alyssa and Rebecca end up sharing a room, but by the time Rebecca will be ready for that, Alyssa will have a ton of stuff that she will get into, and then Alyssa will get mad, and they'll get into fights, and end up not liking each other...  So since we knew Rebecca would need a room eventually, we gave her one right away.

I'm using it more than I thought that I would.  Rebecca spent the first third of her life (she's three months, so one month - you get the math) sleeping in either a bassinet by our bed, in a baby hammock that we made, or in bed with us.  But I also tried to get her to take naps in the crib in her room sometimes, and now that she's older it's where she always naps, and she also starts the night in her crib, then moves into bed with me halfway through the night.

Anyway, it's nice that I have a place to put her down where I know she won't be trampled on by either Sadie or Marcus,  and it's nice to have a definite place to change her diapers.  We've done changing-whever-it's-convenient-at-the-time before, and I like this much better.  I'm so in love with our house, and I feel so lucky to have been able to find it when we did.  Even after living here for a year and a half, I still do little dances sometimes and sing, "Oh, I love my house, I love my house."

So here is Rebecca's room:

This is the picture that greets you at the door.  All of the artwork is done by my talented niece, Megan.  I told her I wanted cute pictures of girls playing in the woods, and I love how they all turned out.  She's been so excited to do these pictures, especially because now she is a professional artist.

This one is my favorite.

Here's the crib we're borrowing from my parents.  Did I sleep in this crib, Mom?  I know at least my little sister did, and multiple grand kids.  I know, it's not to code anymore, but it's sturdy, and I feel that it's safe. 

I should have taken a closer picture of the mobile.  Here's a cropped close-up from the last picture.  Alyssa and I made the mobile together.  I sewed the bird, butterfly, and mushroom, and she sewed all the pink hearts.  We did it a little before I had Rebecca, and it was so fun to work together on it.  And now I love looking at it knowing that Alyssa and I made it together. And actually, looking at the picture, I'm sure that Alyssa will appreciate the fact that the shadow from the hoop looks like a heart; she likes things like that.

I originally planned on painting the mirror ivory to match the dresser, but I never did, because I kind of like it blue.

Here's a close up of Rebecca's blessing dress and one of the pictures.

The rocking chair.  Brian gave me this chair for my birthday just after I had Ethan.  I needed to have my gall bladder removed, and it was hard for me to nurse Ethan, so Brian went to Goodwill and brought home the chair so I would have a comfortable place to nurse.  I don't think the cat realizes that this is my chair.  It's one of her favorite places to sleep, and there's white fluff all over the seat.

And here's the diaper changing station, with the pail completely full of diapers.  Tomorrow's a diaper laundry day.

I love how Rebecca's room turned out.  Before she was born, I told my mom that if the baby ended up surprising us by being a boy, that I would still keep the room pink for a while, because it just makes me happy to be in there.  And now it feels good to have it be officially done.

Just Some Rambling

For some reason I thought that after Alyssa started going to school that I would have gobs of free time.  There were so many times when I was homeschooling that I would jealously think of all the moms who sent their children to school each day and how they must have so much time to do whatever they want.  Now I know that those moms are busy, too.  Just a different busy.

I think I was actually better at keeping up with the household chores when we home schooled, because I had to keep up.  Right now I'm jumping from project to project in the house, and I'm neglecting the laundry and dishes.  Oooh, especially the dishes.  There have been so many nights where we've had to run off somewhere after dinner, and we ended up leaving dirty dishes on the table, the counters, and in the sink.  It's been crazy.  There have also been a lot of nights that Brian hasn't been able to join us for dinner, because of the activities we have to get Alyssa to in the evenings.  Basically, I made dinner for me and the kids, then Brian would come home as Alyssa and I were finishing up and just about to head out the door.  When I put Alyssa into ballet and soccer, I made a promise to myself that we would not lose eating dinner as a family, and I didn't like that that's where we were.

Last week I figured out our schedule such that we can have a good dinner together again each night.  It does mean that we're eating dinner at 7:30 some nights, but it has been so wonderful to not feel rushed as we eat and to be able to enjoy each other's company.  Eating that late is also not a huge deal, because Alyssa get's home from school just after 4:00, and the kids usually get a snack then.  Crazy, huh?  It's 3:49 pm, and she just barely got out of school.

School is going really well for her, by the way.  She's made some good friends, and she's doing a great job of getting her work and home work done. 

Okay, so I think it's time to end this post.  I didn't really know what to write about when I sat down, anyway.  I just know that I need to get in the habit of writing again, so I don't lose all the memories we're creating now.  But right now is not the time to do that.  I have two little boys who are begging to do this and that, and especially begging to eat, and they're not leaving me alone.  But real quick - here is the one thing that I wanted to make sure to put in the post:

Wow, it get's blurry when you make it extra large.  Don't worry, I'm just mid-project.  I'll make sure to take a picture with the real camera when it's done.  I just had to take a picture so that when I take the frames down to paint them, I'll remember what order to put them back up in.  And, of course, I'm sharing the picture with you, even with all it's blurriness, because I am excited.

From the Same Cookie Cutter

Last week I was looking at pictures of Alyssa when she was a baby while Rebecca was asleep on my lap.  I found a picture of a sleeping Alyssa when she was about two months old, then looked down, and saw almost the exact same baby in my arms.  Alyssa had a bit more "Brian" in her, and they do look a little different, but the face shape and their little noses - you can definitely tell that they're sisters.

Rebecca is a wonderful baby.  She's another of our I'm-so-happy-to-be-here babies, especially in the morning.  She woke me up around 6:30 this morning and gave me a huge smile.  She basically spends the first hour of each day just smiling and laughing, which is a great way to start the day.  She's putting herself on a 9:00 and 1:00 nap schedule, with more sleeping in the evening, because she's still little, and when she's not sleeping she's happy to just be with us.  She does not like a wet or dirty diaper.  That's really the only time she complains - is when she wants to be changed.  She is strong!  Everyone comments on how strong and alert she is, but all of our babies have been that way.  I have trouble holding other people's young babies, because I'm not used to holding the head so much or supporting them against my shoulder.  At Rebecca's two month doctor appointment the doctor said that she had the strength and was at the physical level of a four month old.

Yesterday I was on the phone with my younger sister, who is just getting ready to start the pregnancy and kids stage of life.  We were talking about Hyperemesis Gravidarum, and how it will be harder for her if she gets sick, because of her diabetes.  I looked down at Rebecca, who was looking back up at me and smiling, and I said, "Kim, no matter how hard it ends up getting, just know that it is so worth it." Because she definitely is.