The Star of Christmas

When I was in the third grade, our whole class put on a Christmas play, and I was the star. Literally. The play was about the Star of Christmas, and I was it. My mom cut out two huge stars out of posterboard and sprayed them with glitter and put gold Christmas tree garland around the edges. I wore a white shirt and white sweatpants and the stars were hooked together and hung over my shoulders. The greatest part about being the Star was that I had solo parts. I think I even sang a whole song by myself, and I loved it. I loved performing. I loved singing and acting in front of other people.

My career was short-lived, however, and I never received any leading roles after that. I had a few solos and speaking parts through elementary school, but from then on I didn't receive any solo I tried out for in choir, and I was only an extra in our high school production of "Fame." There was one day during rehearsals that one of the main characters was gone, and I filled in for her. I read her lines, and I sang her song, and once again I felt happy and energized, and I wondered, "Why doesn't anyone notice that I really enjoy this?" I can't say that I was better than the other girl, but I can say that I wasn't half bad. When I was performing, I sang well. I was confident. But when I tried out for anything, whether it was a solo for choir or a part in a play, I was nervous and shaky, no matter how hard I tried to control my voice. Which is a very good reason why I was always an extra, or just an alto, not a soloist.

Every night at our house we have singing time, which I originally started to help Alyssa learn the Primary songs. We have a Singing Can, made out of a large tin can from LDS Canning and a cool whip jar, that we draw songs out of. I started painting it blue, but never finished. This month we're leaving the Singing Can on the shelf and I'm teaching Christmas Carols to Alyssa and Ethan. As I sat in front of our Christmas tree singing "Silent Night," I realized that I was performing for my children, and there was no one else I would want to perform this concert for.

I continued with "Angels We Have Heard on High," and Alyssa joined in on the chorus. I went down the list: "Jingle Bells," "The First Noel," "O Come All Ye Faithful." Before I put the kids to bed, I pulled Alyssa onto my lap, and Ethan held onto my leg, bouncing up and down beside me. I sang "Away in A Manger" with all my heart, as pretty as I could. It didn't matter that I was on our living room floor instead of on a stage, or that the only people who could hear me was my children. I was a star once again; I had a solo concert of Christmas hymns. But the best part about it is that once Alyssa learns these songs, and Ethan soon after, we'll have a whole choir singing around the Christmas tree each night, and there won't need to be any "star" of Christmas.