I know, I'm a horrible blogger. Probably not such a thoughtful mother, either. Alyssa was baptized on Saturday, and I haven't blogged about it. She deserves a beautiful post to go along with her beautiful baptism, but I don't think it's going to happen today. Instead, I am selfishly posting about myself.
I don't feel up to posting a happy-go-lucky, life-is-wonderful post today. Believe me, life is wonderful - isn't it? - I'm just not having a very good day. It started out okay, though. I woke up at 5:20 to go running with my sister, and we talked and laughed and were out of breath the whole time, and we even stood in her driveway and talked for ten minutes when we were done. But then as I walked in the door, I heard Marcus coming down the stairs, and I wasn't ready for him to be awake. It was only 6:15.
I guess it didn't help that Brian went fishing last night, and didn't get home until way late, and I couldn't get to sleep until just a bit before he came home. I am seriously cranky.
So Brian was getting ready for work, and Marcus was so happy that he was awake early enough to see Dad in the morning, and it was really cute to watch. But then Ethan woke up, too, and Brian left for work, and when I told the boys I needed to shower, they both wanted to join me, so I gave them my phone and told them to sit on my bed and play Angry Birds while I attempted to shower as fast as I could while praying that they wouldn't find the Emergency Call button and dial 911. But Marcus didn't want to share the phone, so Ethan kept coming in and whining that Marcus wasn't sharing, so I stopped hurrying and just let the hot water rinse over me for a while. I would have locked the door to begin with, but I wanted to be able to listen to the boys to monitor them and their game-on-the-phone use.
It got quiet after a minute, and after I got dressed, I found all three kids at the computer watching some penguin show, and they all complained when I turned it off and told them to get ready for the day, and I went to brush my teeth, but I didn't put any makeup on. I've been trying to wear makeup every day for the past year or so in order to: 1) not feel like a twelve year old trying to look grown up when I do my makeup for church each Sunday, and 2) to feel pretty every day, even if it's just my kids (mostly my kids) and my husband seeing me, so I can feel good about myself and not feel like a frumpy mom, which happens sometimes, although it doesn't happen as often as it used to. But I just didn't want to bother with it today.
The kids did reasonably well at breakfast, although Marcus emptied the entire kids cup drawer after I filled it, and even though it was cute that he was building rocket ships out of them, it was also a bit frustrating, too.
I gave up on having school this morning, because I know that I need a nap. I know that just a little bit more sleep is going to change my entire outlook on life. I just hope the kids don't burn the house down while I'm sleeping. Alyssa is downstairs watching Jim Henson's, "The Storyteller," and Ethan keeps coming upstairs and asking when I'm going to be done with the computer, because he doesn't like what Alyssa is watching.
I probably look like such a whiner. My mom and sister probably think I'm such a whiner, because I already called them this morning, and both times they helped me feel better, but also after both times something happened which made my mood plummet again. But does anyone else have days like this? Days where you feel like no matter how hard you try, you're always behind, or days where you don't feel connected to anyone and you just get lonely for no reason at all, or days where things aren't going right and the part that just kicks you in the pants is that you sit down to write a cheerful post about your daughter's baptism and instead you look at everyone's blogs and get jealous of all the crafts and activities and home improvement projects that you wish you had the time and money and energy to do?
And now the post is over, and I'm realizing just how therapeutic it is to write all of your feelings down. I really do feel better already. I'm also realizing that when I write therapeutically, I use very long, drawn out sentences with very little grammar.
So I'm going to secure the children as well as possible, put a load of laundry in the wash, and go to bed, and when I wake up in an hour or so, we're going to start over. We'll have school, lunch, probably some more school, then go meet the bookmobile at the park (I'm really excited about that!), and come home for dinner. I know today will get better.
June 2021 (random, Utah)
2 years ago
7 comments:
Don't worry. You FOR SURE are not the only one. Sometimes mommies just need to sleep. Lucky for you, Alyssa is home and might even keep them inside the house, so they don't escape. =)
Thank heavens to know that you are NORMAL Carrie! Everyone has those days, I applaud you for putting on make-up every day! Thanks for the post, it made me feel better too, that I am not the only one out there who has crappy days! I wish we lived a little closer so we could hang out when the day is blech.
All of the freaking time.
Oh girl! you are normal! I get so excited when other people have hard days( is that mean?) Let me tell you the last week has been only long blech, One day My 4 year old got 6-8 eggs out of the fridge and put them in his bedroom, ( he knows not to play with eggs) my two year old found them and decided to "open them and find the yellow stuff inside" then smoosh it all over his bedroom carpet. I walk in on all this "fun" taking place and send him to sit in the bath tub(no water) until i can get to him, when about 30 seconds later I here, "Mom, I poopy!" and walk into find him have pooped in his pull-up (nope i still hadn't changed him out of his pull-up from over night yet) smearing it all over the rug, door, tub,etc. ALL OVER THE BATHROOM, my question to you is, do you clean up the rotting egg in the bedroom or the poopy two year old in the bathroom 1st, yeah, it was the start of a great day! later that after noon, my 4 year old decided to have a set back and pee his pants twice that day (he hasn't peed his pants in over a year!) I don't know what it is but the kids have gone berzerk!
Yes to all of the above--I definitely have lots of those days! Thankfully we also have lots of good moments that make me smile to get me through the frustrating days.
Ahhh--I have those days much, much, much too often. I really hope that your nap helped, and that your day is going much better!
I didn't get on the blogs yesterday, so I missed this one... but I'm having that day today. Too little sleep is never a good thing. I'm glad today is so much better!
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