Sleep Deprived Rambling

It is currently around 6:50 am.  I don't know the exact time, because I'm feeling too lazy to look closely at the clock on the wall, and a few weeks ago Marcus had a grand time messing with the clock on the computer, so it's all messed up.  Glance at the wall clock = 6:50ish...clock on the bottom right corner of my computer screen = 1:51 pm.

I woke up this morning at 3:44.  (Apparently I did a good job of looking at the clock then.)  I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep, because my mind wouldn't quiet down, so I decided to get on the computer to look up a few things I've been wanting to research and hadn't had time for.  I've been wanting to plan some good Family Home Evenings for a while now, because our FHE's have gone completely downhill over the past year or so.  With our busy kids, we've never had fabulous lessons with coordinating games and activities, and now we've worked our way from short lessons and a dessert to meaningful family activities usually accompanied by dessert to "at least we're hanging out together eating yummy food."

Have you ever heard the saying, "You can do anything, but you can't do everything"?  Our family is pretty good at that last part.  We used to be great at Family Home Evening, but horrible at family scripture study.  Now, after working on it, we're fabulous at family scripture study (at having it, not at always making it wonderful and spiritual and everyone is paying attention) but we're not having real Family Home Evenings anymore.  I miss it.  So now that scripture study has become a staple in our nightly routine, it's time to start working on Home Evening again.  Since I haven't had a chance to make some plans during the day, and I couldn't get back to sleep a few hours ago, I decided to just get up and do it.

I've ended up going with an already planned schedule for Family Home Evening from A Year of Family Home Evenings.  I actually wanted to follow this schedule last year, but never got around to it.  I've decided to follow the plans for 2010.  I think it's a good place to start, and I think our family will benefit from the ideas from those lessons. 

While researching, I came across something I'd like to start using for home school.  Up until now, Alyssa has been reading one chapter of the Book of Mormon each day for her first lesson, and Ethan has been reading five verses, but now we're going to switch to the Discover the Scriptures lessons instead, and I'm excited about that.  I think it will turn their daily scripture reading into daily scripture study, and they'll get more out of it.  I'm also looking into ways of getting more out of my personal scripture study, because right now it's just scripture reading, too, and I think that now that Becca is older, I need to put more effort into it.

Mini Rant:  But how do I do that?  I want to do better.  I want to make it work, but it feels overwhelming.  There's so much I want to schedule in: my neglected blog, scripture study, writing my book, more time to unwind (both by myself and with Brian) or to just relax and have fun.  And those goals need to be squeezed in to my normal day.  5:30 running that hasn't been happening very often over the last month and a half, shower and get the kids ready and breakfast'd, home school and laundry, lunch, a bit more home school, kids' activities that involve keeping Marcus and Rebecca entertained while we wait, dinner, family time, get kids ready for bed, scripture study, tuck kids in, make lesson plans for school, hang out with Brian for a bit, go to sleep.  Just to let you know, right now my personal scripture study is reading out loud while rocking Rebecca for her naps, and you know, maybe it will have to stay that way for a little while longer until I can come up with something better.  I also sometimes listen to the scriptures while running.  I just feel so busy, but when I map out my schedule or think of things I can cut from the schedule, I don't want to take anything out, because I really feel that each activity is important.  Stop home schooling?  Now way!  I love it, and I truly feel that it is the best choice for our family.  Don't do laundry?  I would love that, but eventually we would run out of clean clothes, and I really wouldn't feel comfortable with sending our laundry to a cleaner, even if we had the money to spend like that.  Running?  I can't let that slip, because I've found that exercising is necessary to both my physical and emotional well-being.  I guess it's not even that I'm busy, but more that the things I'm doing are very involved.  But maybe that's just typical of life with young children.  My sister told me that once she told her stake president during a temple recommend interview that she struggled to find time for scripture study, and he told her that there were years when his kids were young that his wife's scripture study was simply choosing one verse to hang on her mirror and read through while she brushed her teeth each morning.  And I guess that's all we can do sometimes.  Anyway, that doesn't mean I'm giving up.  I do want to do better, but I think I need to also be patient in the process.  I feel like I'm an organized person, but I know I can still take a look at things at a time when I'm not feeling so overwhelmed at be able to come up with a solution.

That rant turned out longer than I expected.  Sorry 'bout that.

One thing that's happened through our family scripture study is that I've found my favorite scripture.  Up until now I haven't had a favorite scripture.  I've had scripture stories and verses that I've liked or that have had special meaning to me, but I never had a moment where one verse jumped out and made me feel like, "This is me!  This is what I want my life to be all about!"  But last week while reading to the kids while Brian was at church meetings, this one verse jumped out at me in that exact same way.  It's Mosiah 2:41.

"And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God.  For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness."

I love this scripture.  The whole point of keeping the commandments is so that we can be happy, both in this life and in the next life.  Loving Heavenly Father makes me happy.  Loving others and treating them with love makes me happy.  Following the Word of Wisdom makes me happy.  Serving others makes me happy.  All of these things make me happy now, and by doing these things, I can return to live with my Heavenly Father someday to dwell in a "state of never-ending happiness."  It can't get any better than that.  This is now my scripture.

It is now both 7:45 am and 2:46 pm, depending on where I look.  Ethan woke up once he heard me typing, and he is now downstairs quietly watching TV.  Everyone else is still asleep, and I think I'm going to go lie down a bit before it's too late.  Or maybe I'll catch up on reading everyone else's blog posts, which I haven't done for a long time.  Yep, that sounds good.