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When I first meant to write this post last week, a whole bunch of titles kept going through my mind.  There was, "Third Time's A Charm," refencing the fact that this is the third post containing something stupid that I have done.  Other titles along those lines were, "Not Too Bright," a sarcastic "Fun Times!" and my personal favorite, "I OD'ed on Baking Soda."  See, that's the one that really get's people wondering.

I woke up last Monday morning feeling the start of a urinary tract infection.  The kids were home for the second week in a row of vacation from MCP, so I was both trying to catch up with laundry and housework and do home school with them, which basically translates to - I did not have time to go to the doctor.   Plus, my mom had a doctor's appointment of her own to go to, Brian's mom was helping someone who was having surgery on her hand that day, and when lunch time rolled around and things were really starting to hurt down there, I knew that Tallia was going grocery shopping for Thanksgiving dinner, Christina was taking her daughter to Seminary, and Erin had to be home for her girls to come home on the bus from school.  I didn't want to bother anyone, especially since every other experience I've had with the urgent care here involved a six hour wait.

I started the morning by just trying to flush it through my system by drinking lots of water. I hoped that I was wrong in my suspicions, and didn't really have a UTI, and that by drinking lots of water, I would end up feeling better.  Then, when it started to hurt, and then hurt worse, I was just looking for a way to help me make it through the day until Brian came home so I could head over to urgent care at that point.  Looking up, "home remedies uninary tract infection" on Google brought up cranberry juice (didn't have any) and baking soda water.  I decided to give the baking soda water a try.  While the kids had lunch, I mixed up a cup of water with a teaspoon of baking soda, drank it, then had one more glass of it while cleaning up after lunch.  Without really thinking things through, I was still thinking along the lines of "flush it out," so I went ahead and made up a mason jar with three cups of water and three teaspoons of baking soda, put a movie on for the kids, and went upstairs to take a warm bath.

I made it through about 3/4 of an episode of "Vampire Diaries," which I wasn't too impressed with, before I started to feel incredibly ill.  Incredibly ill.  I looked down and noticed that my belly looked to be about four months pregnant - no exaggeration.  I felt extremely nauseated, but I was never able to throw up, and soon the diarrhea started.  Yes, I do realize that I'm full if TMI on this blog.

So I ended up on the toilet, with a towel spread out in front of me to catch the throw up that never came.  Oh, it was horrible, and it kept getting worse and worse.  Seriously.  Like twenty times worse than any flu or food poisoning I've ever had.  Added to the nausea and diarrhea was tingling fingers and lips, and my whole body was shaking.  This was when I thought that no matter what was going on in their lives, I should call one of my sisters to come help.  It took me a few minutes to come to this realization, because I had no clothes on, and I was at the point where I didn't want anything to touch my skin, and at first I wondered how I would let anyone help me if I didn't want them to see me naked.  Then it got bad enough that I didn't care.

While getting off the toilet and heading across the bathroom to get my phone, everything started to spin and move side to side, and get all wonky.  I grabbed my phone, thought, "What if I pass out, and there's no one here but my kids?" and called 911.

Now, this wasn't my first time calling 911.  Remember I called 911 early one morning when Alyssa went with me on her bike while I ran and I lost her and couldn't find her anywhere?  That was the first time, and even though I was scared to death, and we had only lived in our house for a week or two, I was able to correctly give our address to the dispatcher.  This time, the second time,  I gave him about three variations of our address, with the numbers all mixed up and crazy, and even when I said, "Yes, that's it, I'm sure," I wasn't really sure.  After a few minutes of talking to the dispatcher, I could feel that surge of energy that came with this sickness all of a sudden start to leave my body.  I told him that it seemed to be going away.  "Yeah, I think I'm getting better," I said.  He told me that help was on its way, and we got off the phone.

This is when I got around to calling Christina.  I think I said, "Hi, I need you.  There's an ambulance coming, but I need you.  It's not that big of a deal though."  Of course, she said that she would be there right away, and she even beat the ambulance to my house.

When Christina arrived I was feeling better, but I was still very shaky.  I had put on a robe by that time, and it was uncomfortable and clingy since I never really dried off from the bath, and I was walking about the kitchen and family room, because I couldn't sit still.   Christina started cleaning up the goldfish crackers that Marcus had apparently dumped out in the family room, and I decided to at least go put some pajamas on.

So the ambulance came, four or five guys came in to check me, which took a while, because I kept having to rush to the bathroom.  They called poison control, and the lady there said that for my weight, six teaspoons is toxic.  I never got the exact definition of toxic.  Five teaspoons felt pretty toxic to me.  She kept asking me what kind of teaspoons they were, and when she started talking about how some people grab a spoon and do heaping teaspoonfuls and other people actually use a teaspoon and level it off like they're baking a cake, I said, "Oh, I make cake all the time.  I would never not level off my teaspoon."

It was decided that I was well enough to not have to go to the hospital.  Instead, I spent about a half hour telling Christina how stupid I felt while she swept my kitchen and straightened up the family room.  Then, I went to urgent care and was indeed diagnosed with a UTI.  And apparently the baking soda did help a little, because I was able to wait in the urgent care waiting room for a couple of hours without being too uncomfortable.  All in all, though, it wasn't a very good way of putting off going to the doctors office.

My favorite parts in all of this - When the EMT's were making sure I was okay, Marcus kept trying to give them glasses of ice water.  Before I called Brian's office to let him know everything, I sent him a text that said, "The ambulance just left.  Everything is fine," just to see what he would say back, but I don't think he saw it until after I called him.

I've run out of time to write about all the other things I wanted to say, so the other news will have to wait for its own post.  With so much time passing since last week, I almost decided to just skip this blog post, but I feel that leaving this story out, no matter how embarrassing and stupid it was, would almost leave an untrue history.  Plus there were so many lessons I learned.  Ask for help when you need it.  Don't rely on the internet to be your doctor.  And clean your house before calling 911, because if you don't, and you tell them you're sick because you drank five glasses of baking soda water in less than an hour, it makes you look like even more of a crazy person.

Grapes, Grapes, Grapes

note:  I am normally adverse to the word, "butt," but when you need a word paired with, "crack," I do believe there is no other option.  "Bum crack" just doesn't have the same kick.

 On Monday Erin brought over 200 pounds of concord grapes, which we turned into juice and then turned some of that into jelly.  You might think I'm exaggerating when I say 200 pounds, but I promise I'm not.  she brought a lot of grapes.  I guess one of her neighbors had to pick them real fast because of the frost.  We didn't use them all, mostly because after a full day of juicing, we were all graped out. 

the beautiful and slightly sarcastic Megan

the lovely and/or demonic Erin

Kenna and Emma singing and playing the piano

We don't know why, but Asher, who is as boy as boys can be, loves that yellow tutu.

In other news:

1. I gave a talk in sacrament meeting on Sunday.  It turned out to be a great talk.  At the very least, I learned a lot preparing for it.  A lot of people from the congregation told me I did a good job.  The people behind the pulpit though...had a different view of my talk.  You see, Brian told me after church that my dress was stuck, not only in my butt crack, but under my cheeks as well.  I've seen people before that have had their dresses stuck in their cracks, and I've wondered, "How could they not know that it's there?  Why don't they just pull it out?"  Well, in this case, I was wearing my one piece garments, and sometimes when I stand up, they get a little stuck.  (Don't complain about too much information, this whole paragraph is all about too much information.)  When that happens, I give a little tug on the leg, and everything is fine.  While I was speaking, I could feel it in there, but I assumed that it was just my underwear, and since I was concentrating on my talk, I decided to deal with it afterward.  I never dreamed that it was both my underwear and my dress.


2. Marcus' birthday was last week.  I made a big round cake for a Beyblade stadium, and we put two "beys" (as the kids call them) on top for his present. 
 

King Tutankhamun

Last Thursday we took off, with the majority of my brother's and sisters, to Seattle to visit the King Tut exhibit at the Seattle Science Center.  Alyssa and I were actually supposed to go in August with the Sumsions, but we had to postpone, because of Brian's grandma's funeral.  So instead, Nelsa switched our tickets for us, and we made a homeschooling trip out of it.  Christina called our group the Rise and Shine Homeschool, and it was fun to line up with all the other "real" schools that were there that day.

Christina's oldest kids went with Nathan to go see "Wicked" on Thursday evening, while the rest of us went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner.  Becca was so crazy and on and off my lap and wiggly, that I got my cheesecake to-go and ate half of it on the drive back to the hotel.

Putting one baby without a crib or rocking chair and three bouncy kids to bed was crazy, and I was a cranky mess.  That part was not fun, and I hotel-voice yelled a lot.  (That's one thing I've decided I really need to work on: not yelling.)

The next morning we had a yummy breakfast and went to King Tut.  One word: awesome!  Even Marcus and Ethan had a good time.  It was so cool to see the things the kids have learned about in History - things that were thousands of years old.  The gold masks were my favorite.  I wish I had pictures to share, but we weren't allowed to take any.  Sorry.  We also saw the IMAX movie about mummies.  My favorite part of that was watching Rebecca.  She was so amazed at the huge screen.

After visiting the butterfly house at the Science Center, our little family broke off and went searching for ice cream.  We went to Molly Moon's Ice Cream Shop, where I had the best ice cream of my entire life: honey lavender ice cream.  It was soooooo good.  I bought the recipe book.  Oh, and it was so funny, too - while we were walking to the ice cream shop, we passed a doughnut shop, and Brian went in to see if they had any cruellers (spell check isn't helping with that one) and there were these two little girls sitting at the table facing the window.  They were looking through a book, and while the kids and I stood outside the door, waiting for Brian, they held the open book flat against the window.  I looked at them and saw that the picture was what I am now calling, "educational nudity."  So they were holding this picture up to the window, and once they saw that I noticed it, they started laughing so hard, and they just kept laughing and laughing.  It was great.

On Friday evening we all went swimming, and had pizza for dinner.  Then, Philip asked the hotel to open the breakfast room for us, so we could eat the chocolate cake Tallia picked up for Michael's birthday.  After our first not very good night in the hotel, I was determined to make our second night better.  The kids were already in their pajamas for the cake party, so once we got back to our room we had scripture study, and the kids got into bed.  I pulled the office type chair in front of the television, and I told the kids we could watch T.V. until they fell asleep.  There were 44 channels, and the only thing on that was remotely interesting for families was "Wicked Tuna" on the National Geographic channel.  I kid you not - we watched the "What's On" guide for about 10 minutes, then we went though the loop a few times before stopping on the tuna show.  It was actually pretty interesting, and the best part about it is that it helped the kids to fall asleep quickly.  Once Becca was ready to lay down, I pulled the leftover cheesecake out of the fridge and ate it between the two beds so Ethan and Marcus (who were on the hide-a-bed, and were the only kids left awake at that point) couldn't see.  It was a much better bedtime for all of us.  (Oh, and that's another thing I'm now working on: eating less sweets.)

Saturday morning was spent packing up the car and browsing the aisles of Fries.  (It's an electronics store, not a french fry store.)  Then we headed to Pike's Place Market, where we had some awesome crepes for lunch, then we headed home.  I really enjoyed the drive home, because Brian and I took some time while Becca was sleeping, and Alyssa was reading, and the boys were discussing random boy things in the back seat to talk about how we feel our kids are doing in life.  We talked about their strengths and weaknesses, where we see them going in their extracurricular activities, and things we'd like to see them become.  We also decided to start having a special night once a month, during our Fast Sunday family council, where we talk about the things that we think are awesome about our kids.  We even followed up on our plan by having our first "You are Awesome Night" this evening, and it was great.

Oh, and another thing I loved about this trip was trying to hold our breath through all those long tunnels in Seattle.  There was one that curved in a circle, and I tilted my head to see if I could look further to see the end of the tunnel, and Brian started leaking air through his lips, because he was trying not to laugh.  I have to say, though, that we made it through every tunnel without breathing.

And here's some pictures:

Becca, at the beginning of our trip.  We borrowed my parents' van, because we didn't trust our old geezer van.  We turned Becca's car seat around just for the trip, and she thought it was awesome that there was a T.V. in the car.

Kenna and Alyssa after King Tut.  Alyssa is purposefully not smiling for some reason.

Marcus and Ethan on a pretend spaceship, or more likely, a real spaceship, for pretend.

Alyssa and Callie in the butterfly house.

Marcus and his friend

The kids at Molly Moon's.  They sat at the window table, and Brian and Becca and I sat outside.  And no, that guy is not a cyborg - that's the reflection of a hub cap on his head.

Brian's salted caramel ice cream with a fresh made waffle cone.  Poor Becca slept through the ice cream party.

This is Becca waking up a little bit when we put her back in the car after ice cream.  She fell asleep a couple seconds after this picture was taken.

Zombies and Halloween

 First, Erin's zombie party.  Philip set it all up perfectly.  We all met up at my parents' house, then when we gave the word, Philip took his family for a Sunday drive while we snuck over to their house and hid in the backyard.  They were soon home, and Erin found her new diaper bag, which says, "Zombie Survival Kit" on it, and pulled out the toy gun, because she was being attacked by niece and nephew zombies!  It was fabulous how they came out from the shadows and inched their way along the dark grass.  Erin was soon overwhelmed by them all, and if it had been a real zombie attack, she would have definitely had her brains eaten.  Ethan wanted to be a snake zombie, so a few minutes after we had all come in, we were wondering where he had gone to, and we found him still in the dark backyard, slithering along the wet grass.

the brain cakes

Brian zombie - he had to go to a meeting halfway through the party

The progression of the attack.

Yesterday, for Halloween, we had a party for Activity Days where we made monster bookmarks and pine cone owls, and played pin the heart on the skeleton and musical chairs.  Then, all the cousins came over to go trick-or-treating together, eat pot luck tacos, and watch Disney's Legend of Sleepy Hollow. 

My Halloween tricksters.  Marcus and Ethan are both wearing costumes that my mom made for my brothers when they were little.

Becca in the wig Jenny Rose made for her.  Technically, her costume is a doll witch, I guess.

I started my costume a while ago, but when I learned I wasn't going to be able to go to the ward trunk-or-treat party, because of Tombstone Tales, I stopped.  Then, right before going trick-or-treating, I didn't feel festive enough, so I threw it on and had Erin do my make up real quick.  She did a good job, for just working with what I had in the drawer.  Halfway through the night, my niece Megan said, "There is nothing appealing at all to your face."

full shot of zombie Snow White

Rosie the Riveter leading the kids in a Thriller conga line

I was trying to take a picture of my mom with Norah and Becca, but Callie kept photobombing.

Pretty soon we had so many photobombers that you can't even see what I was trying to take a picture of.

In other news:  Alyssa and Ethan had their first showcase of the year at MCP.  Ethan built a Mesopotamian ziggurat to share, and Alyssa did a division problem on the board.  They did a great job!