Last week a nurse came to my home to draw my blood and test my urine and write down my height and weight. Why? Brian and I are applying for life insurance. I know, we're officially grown up now. We're buying a house and getting life insurance. Officially adults.
So all of these tests were no big deal. The kids were concerned that I would be getting my blood drawn, but when it came time for it, they were busy watching the Green Anaconda song on You Tube, along with other various anaconda videos they kept clicking on, so they really didn't mind all that much. I'm used to peeing in a cup from being pregnant, so, yeah...no big deal. Height: 5' 5''. I knew that. Weight. Well, I might have acted all nonchalant about the numbers showing up on the scale, but the minute the nurse was out the door, I exclaimed, "Are you serious?!?"
Let's back up a little bit to last year when Marcus was still nursing all the time. I wasn't sleeping well. I was constantly tired. But I was skinny! Nursing does great things for my weight. I usually lose my baby fat pretty slowly for the first six months, but then once I reach that point, the pounds just fall off. If you factor that in with the fact that I was painting and cleaning when we moved back to the Tri-Cities and walking Alyssa to and from school, I lost the baby fat from Marcus' pregnancy pretty fast. And it just kept coming off.
I'll be honest with you and say that I don't judge people for their weight. That is just not something I really take notice of when I meet someone. But here's where the real honestly comes in: I loved being skinny. It was wonderful to fit into clothes I hadn't worn in years. It was wonderful to feel sexy when Brian came to visit, even with the loose post-pregnancy skin and my c-section scar bump that I hear will never go away. And it was wonderful to just feel cute, even on my frumpy days.
The down side to all of this is that I could eat anything I wanted and as much as I wanted while I was nursing, and the minute Marcus was weened, the pounds started to pile back on. I ordered a special dress online for Brian's graduation a couple of months before Brian's graduation, and when it came in the mail I considered sending it back and getting a smaller size. I'm glad I didn't, though, because it fit perfectly when graduation time came around. Then, a couple months later, it was a bit snug.
Do you see where this is going? I wasn't happy with gaining this weight, so I started exercising and "watching what I ate" in July, and I've been doing reasonably well with both of those since then. So I was surprised that it was that bad when I stood on the scale last week. And when the nurse left and I finished my exclamations, I resolved to really, really do something about it.
It was the day after my birthday, and Brian had called earlier that day to say he ordered a red velvet cake (so yummy!) to have our parents over on Friday, so I decided that the diet would start on Monday. (Well, originally it was supposed to be Sunday, but my brother's birthday party was then planned for Sunday, and we celebrated a late Chinese New Years at the same time. You don't want to be on a diet for Chinese New Year at my parents house. Yum!)
I spent the week researching and planning. I decided to do the Atkins diet, since I've had family members have success with it in the past. (Please don't leave comments saying whether or not you like Atkins. I don't want to argue either way. Right now it's the concept of a diet that's in question, not THE diet.) Anyway.
So Monday I started limiting my diet to meats and vegetables. No more bread. No more cake, or cookies, or milk. Oh, no milk! I love milk! This is me being honest again: I don't eat goodies as much as I say that I do. I think I bake more than I eat, and talk about baking more than I actually bake. So actually, I don't miss the sweets, especially since I just had a birthday weekend and got myself all caked-out. I do miss baking for my kids, though, or really the thought of baking for my kids. It's only been two days.
I realized today when I was making pistachio pudding and putting them in white chocolate shells that have been living in our freezer for a while that I was making something fun for my family to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, and that I wouldn't be sharing that fun with them. That's no fun! Not sharing the fun is no fun! I realized that I would rather be a little overweight and enjoying life than be skinny and not allowed to eat anything.
So the plan is to make my own rules. We already do a pretty good job of eating healthy. We get our fruits and veggies, eat at home a lot more than we eat out, drink lots and lots of water. I've been doing a great job of getting up in the morning to exercise, and really no matter how big I am, as long as I'm exercising regularly I feel good. Both physically and about myself. I think I just need to be a little more aware of what I'm eating and how much of it I'm eating, and I'm going to come up with some rules on that to follow.
So there it is - diet canceled, or altered. Brian actually just walked in. Here's the conversation:
Carrie: Hey, I'm just finishing up a post. I'll be done in a minute.
Brian: About your diet?
Carrie: How did you know?
Brian: I know you.
(Brian then walked back out of the house and came back in carrying a box of boxes of Girl Scout cookies.)
Brian: I don't know why, but Bruce bought 60 boxes of Girl Scout cookies today....Are you going to alter your diet to include thin mints?....If they say, "thin" they must work!
I'm so glad I am now allowing myself to drink milk, because we have a lot of cookies to eat.
June 2021 (random, Utah)
2 years ago
8 comments:
I think I like the way you are thinking about this. Soon enough, you will be cleaning, walking, and nursing like crazy again, right? =)
Good luck with your house! I'm so excited for you!
(You'd better have a housewarming party. People told us to and we did, but no one has had one since then who I know. It's been almost four years. I'm starting to think it's a strange thing, but I like parties, so you should totally have one!)
I say amen to your post. Diets don't work...it's about having a healthy lifestyle that you can maintain because you enjoy the way you feel! By the way, totally not satisfied with the pictures of your house- I need more details!
How can anyone live with themselves if they have to cut out everything that they love? I don't see any reason to not have girl scout cookies, just not a whole box in one sitting (like me on the mish). Your belly will tell you what to eat and when. Plus, it's summer almost: losing weight season!
My family just finished a Healthy Family Challenge that was fun, maybe you could include more people in the mix and make a FUN competition (I'm so not competitive). I'd be happy to pass along the points/rules to you if you'd like. Dieting is SO not my thing!
Can I just say that I always love reading your posts? You really are a talented writer. Have you ever thought of writing a book or something?
Anyway..."Regained My Sanity" all the way. I agree that living a healthy lifestyle is the way to go, and feel that trying diets or other changes that don't make you happy will not, in the end, bring positive results. Good for you for being ready to try changes and to do what is healthy for you, without going off the deep end!
I agree too - diets don't work. You can only go without for so long and then you splurge because you've missed it so much. I don't really pay attention to weight either - I just want to feel "in shape" physically through consistent exercise.
Anyway, I think you have the right attitude about it all!
Your post totally reminded me of when we switched life insurance policies while I was pregnant with Macey. I was quite a ways along (probably 8 months) and they made me use my pregnant weight for their calculations- I didn't like that so much. My cholesterol was also high because of the pregnancy, at least that's what I figure, because I haven't had a problem with it since. The craziest thing, though, is that after they drew my blood (and Kevin was in the bathroom), I started to feel really thirsty. I walked to the fridge to get some water and totally passed out!! The medical guy helped me onto the couch and I woke up having no idea it had even happened. Anyways, that's always what I think of when I think about life insurance.
As for diet, my mom has lost 45 lbs. doing her own version of weight watchers and loves it. She doesn't have to deny herself anything she loves to eat, but it's a point system, so when the points are gone- they're gone. If you eat the right kinds of foods, you can eat A LOT more. But you can still eat whatever you choose. I think it's good because she's building healthy, long-term habits- not limiting herself so much that she'll never be able to maintain it. And when you exercise you get more points, and that's good too, because you don't automatically get into the habit of eating more everyday, only on the days you actually earn the points first.
But as long as we're not obese and our weight isn't causing health problems, I think we should relax and enjoy life.
I agree with everyone else- for me the best strategy I have for maintaining a healthy weight (or for right now, losing the baby weight) is a healthy diet and exercise. And by healthy, I mean definitely include cookies, and breads, and cakes- just in moderation. Because what would life be like if we couldn't eat cinnamon rolls?? I find that i have a hard time after i finish nursing about portion control, because I am so use to eating more than I should because I was pregnant and nursing for so long. I really have to focus on portion control and training my body to not think it needs so much extra food (because I feel insatiable when I am nursing!).
I liked the website: myfitnesspal.com, because I could put in my food intake for the day and figure out roughly how many caleries I was consuming a day, which was an eye opener. I only used it once or twice, because I don't want to obsess about the amount of caleries I take in everyday, but i do want a general guide of what I am eating.
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