Our Revisited Schedule, And Much, Much More

I think I've already done quite a few posts about our various schedules and what-not, and I'm about to bore you with, yet, another one. I think the most important thing I've learned about homeschooling this year is that you have to keep mixing things up. Schedule and routines are important - even essential - but they only last for so long. What works one week will completely bomb the next, so when it stops working, you reevaluate, and start again. And then when that stops working...you get the picture.

Right now we're doing two lessons each of Math, Phonics, and Language Arts on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays; and on Tuesdays, when Alyssa has her morning acting class at MCP, we do three lessons each of History and Science afterward. Thursdays are the days Alyssa spends all day long at MCP, so she (usually) does a lesson of Language Arts when she comes home in the afternoon. And every day we do our "Dailies," which consist of Alyssa doing a practice Math worksheet, a writing assignment (mostly to work on penmanship and sentence structure), and reading a couple of books with Brian's mom, who is currently our Reading Specialist.

So that's the basics of our schedule. We have two plans that we're starting to use on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Our Plan A is: Math, Phonics, Math, Phonics, Language Arts, with a five minute break in between each lesson. Each lesson usually lasts about thirty minutes, depending on how willing to work Alyssa is, and when she is willing to work, things go very smoothly. We go through the lessons and worksheets together, then she dances during her breaks. When she's not willing to work, she fake cries and feels sorry for herself until she starts crying for real, and it gets to the point where I want to throw my hands in the air and say, "Do whatever you want to do," but I know that we need to get through those lessons. Plus, if I give her a break, it will only teach her that whining and crying will get her what she wants.

Plan B was invented last week at one of those hand-throwing moments. I decided that when Alyssa was having one of those days where she just didn't want to cooperate, we would switch to Math, Phonics, Language Arts (both lessons), then have the rest of the morning off, then lunch, reading with Grandma, and then start back in again with our second lessons of Math and Phonics. Today was one of those days, and when we were spending a long, emotional time on our first Math lesson, I just made a mental switch to Plan B, and it made me feel less stressed, and it gave Alyssa time after the first half to regroup and have fun with Grandma, so she could get right back in things. It worked great!

Plus, we've been using a checklist for the last month in order to make sure we're doing every thing we're supposed to do each day. It started out small, with a little section for each family member all on one page, and it's expanded to being one page per family member. I worried that having a checklist for every little thing (prayer, brushing teeth, cleaning up after breakfast, etc) would be over-doing things a bit, but it's made my days a lot smoother. Both because the kids are excited to check things off their lists, and because I don't have to think, "It's Monday, what do I have to do today?" I can just look at my list and know that I need to make our meal plan and grocery list, because tomorrow is shopping day, and when I'm done, I can check it off my list. When we have enough points, we're all going to Chuck e Cheese's, and we're (basically the kids) are excited.

And to make the post longer, I'll go ahead and tell you about something I've been wanting to write about, but haven't found the right moment to do it in. This just might be the right moment. Be sure and tell me if it's not. Are we good? Okay.

Kay, raise your hand if you know Alyssa. Go ahead and put it down. Now raise your hand again if you know that Alyssa is an extremely busy, energetic little girl. Most likely, if you raised your hand to the first question, you immediately raised it again to the next question. Alyssa is busy. Busy, busy, busy. And she's been busy since day one. Brian and I have spent tons of time as Alyssa's been growing up worrying about this busy-ness, and wondering just how bad does it have to get to seek help. We watched her be busy in Nursery. No big deal. We watched her be busy in Sunbeams. I was terrified to send her to Sunbeams. She was busy in Sunbeams, but it wasn't as big of a deal as I thought it would be. We watched her be busy in ballet, and basically get kicked out of class. (Although in truth, I took her out after the teacher told me that Alyssa was devious and trying to manipulate me and I should just go get some coffee during her class instead of staying to watch. Honestly, I think all the other kids must have been messed up to sit still in a circle for a full ten minutes during roll call. What three-year old wants to spend ten minutes of a forty minute dance class sitting still when they're wearing a cute leotard and tu-tu?!?) We watched her be busy in kindergarten, then first grade, then kindergarten again. And finally, I watched her - up close - be busy in our living room and be barely able to contain the movement in her legs to sit still for a lesson.

Last year a very kind woman in our ward helped us with some exercises we could do with Alyssa. She did her thesis on these exercises that help ADHD kids be able to control their bodies, and she did a course of lessons for her granddaughter and Alyssa. They helped. They honestly helped, but not enough, I guess, and we didn't have the extra half-hour each day of quiet without the boys to be able to do them enough to be effective.

So this year, we finally decided to seek help from our pediatrician. We fought this decision for a long, long time, and the last thing I wanted to do was medicate, but it finally got to the point when it was getting out of our control. I called and made the initial appointment on a very rough day between Alyssa and I, and I'm glad that it took a few days to see the doctor and that we needed to get her blood work and other tests done, because it made me really think about whether or not I was putting her through all of that for me or for her.

We got every thing figured out with the doctor just before Christmas, so she's been on Staterra for just over a month. The doctor explained that there were basically two types of medication to try: the Ritalin type (I can't remember the official names) is one where if you imagine someone's energy being in a jar, with a normal person's energy level "here", and Alyssa's up "here," and the medications will push Alyssa's energy levels to completely fill and overflow the jar to kind of wear her down and slow her down. I didn't like that option very much, and he agreed. Staterra is the type of medication that just stops the neurotransmitters in her brain that make her busy.

So far it's working great. It's so much better than I ever thought it would be. I was afraid that if she was on medication that she would lose her personality, but she is still very much Alyssa. And she still is very much a busy little girl. She still might be busier than your average child. I don't mind that at all. The medication seems to slow her down just enough for her to stop and think about things, and to be more in control of her body, instead of her body controlling her.

I've been on the look-out for the side effects this last month, but so far that's going well, too. One of the possible side effects is depression and suicidal thoughts, and she's honestly been less wheepy and emotional while she's been on the medication than she was before or during a week break from the medication when we were trying to get things approved by our insurance. The other thing is that the doctor said it might make it harder for her to fall asleep at night, especially if she took her pill too late in the morning, but she's been falling asleep better than ever. It's wonderful.

I hope this explains all the thoughts that have been running around my head for the past month. Yet it doesn't even touch on the discussions Alyssa's had with the counselor she's been talking to in order to "treat the patient, not just the problem" where, for instance, in response to the counselor asking me how Brian's and my relationship is, and me saying, "Just fine," Alyssa says, "...and when they're alone, and Daddy stretches her out, and she starts screaming for us to come help her, Ethan and I run in and pull Daddy's hands away so we can save her." Of course, Alyssa failed to mention that Brian likes to tickle and wrestle before saying this and permanently burning those words into my brain, where they will remain forever and ever.