A New Look, A New Carrie

So here's why I changed my blog:

1. Although I loved the blue background, I was in the mood for something new. So that explains the colors, no big deal. They're just colors.

2. I want my blog to truly reflect who I am, and the kind of person I am trying to become. When I wrote, "I am a professional mother..." on the sidebar, I was being positive about the position of a housewife. I was saying that it was my choice to be a wife and a mother. That instead of choosing a career outside the home, I was choosing to stay at home to take care of my family. And that is a great way to think about things. I thought that way long before I wrote it on my side bar. Motherhood was my career.

But in some ways, my feelings about that have changed. There are so many people out there who don't like their jobs, and even the people who do like their jobs, come to resent their jobs in some ways. Even though I love being a mother, when I looked at it as a job, I started to resent it. It became a job to make breakfast in the morning, to do the laundry, to clean the house, to put the children to bed at night. There was even one night when I was really tired, and Alyssa asked me why she couldn't just tell me one more thing. "Because I've clocked out for the night, and I'm not on duty anymore," I told her. And I feel so bad for saying that! When I thought of motherhood as a career, I became selfish with my time and feelings, and that is not being a good mother.

So lately I've been trying to readjust my additude. I've been trying not to yell at the kids, no matter what they've done or how long they've been doing it. I've been trying to spend more time with them doing fun and important things, like making cookies and cakes, and doing crazy crafts that Alyssa comes up with, and tucking them in at night. I don't want my children to think that I resent being a mother, because I don't.

I am a mother because I love my husband, because I love my children, because I want the best for them, and because the best is something that I can hope to provide.

And I just thought that my blog should reflect that. And that's what I'm going to write in my sidebar.


Note: For those of you who saw the hilarious, "A mother is like a captain on a ship..." on the sidebar, that was Brian. He's great.