In just a couple of days we're heading to Lincoln City for Brian's family reunion. Ever since we received Marcus's little green reunion onesie in the mail, I've planned on posting a picture of him in it and saying something like, "We're headed for fun!" or "Be back soon!" But I just don't feel up to it, and with the way I'm feeling today, all that happiness wouldn't be real.
I am having a tough time. It's been a very hard summer. We've had a lot of fun, and I really don't have anything substantial to complain about, but it's been hard all the same. It's been hard living in the Claypool's house. (Not the Claypool's houe specifically, just someone else's house.) I'm so thankful to have had a place to live this summer, especially since we were kicked out of our rental house when it sold. This is the nicest place we've ever lived in, but it's not easy living in someone else's house. I spent the first few weeks living in fear that we would destroy something. Then I blew up the kitchen. A pan exploded on the stove top, sending shards of glass flying around the room. Where the glass landed, the linoleum melted. Once the shock of all that wore off, I figured we couldn't do much worse, so I stopped worrying constantly, which helped. It's also helped so much that Casey and Shaille are being so wonderful about the whole thing.
Brian's schedule has been hard, too. We've been taking him to clinic and picking him up, and that's really not a huge deal, but it's made planning and making dinners difficult, because sometimes we would drive 25 minutes, spend up to 45 minutes waiting for him, then drive another 25 minutes home. We've been eating dinner late, going to bed late, and getting up early, and it's taken a huge toll on us. We're all tired and cranky.
We've also been back and forth on our plans for the next rotation. That has been a huge emotional ordeal for me. We went from putting our stuff in a storage unit in Richland, because Brian was going to Tacoma alone, to buying camping chairs and folding tables because we were going with him, to taking back the folding tables because he's going alone again. I really feel like this is a good decision. Once we made up our minds for good, housing fell right into place for both of us. The kids and I will be living in one of Brian's parent's rental houses, and Brian will be renting a room from one of the bishops in Tacoma. I know it's going to work, and half of me is excited to be moving back home, but the other half of me is so sad that we'll be away from Brian for so long. I know that military families do it all the time. I know that we'll have both his family and my family there to help us. I know we'll be able to see him sometimes on the weekends. I know all of those things, but it doesn't make it any easier.
And I'm sad to be leaving Oregon! We've made so many friends here, and we've made so many good memories here. We really have loved living in Forest Grove, and I know we will miss it and the people here so much.
So basically I'm just stressed out and cranky, and I'm just having a gloomy day. I've been happy for the kids, but I've kind of been throwing a pity party for myself while I've been cleaning and packing. It's just a rough day. I've just got to suck it up and get through it, then I should be fine tomorrow.
January 2020
4 years ago
7 comments:
I can't tell you how many times I have started and then erased a post where I vent my frustrations. But mine seem insignificant compared to yours. I hope you get through it and that its all worth it in the end.
Feel free to have a "pity-party." It is really tough (I've been there!), but the good news is, you'll be done before you know it and you won't remember all this-just the fun times you've had!
Rotations are HARD-period! But you do get through them, and then you get to deal with your husband taking his time to apply for his license and then trying to negotiate with the DR he wants to work with for fair terms, all the while wondering just how far those student loans will stretch! In other words, I do feel your pain, I have been there, it really DOES go quickly, and honestly as crazy as things are right now, it's SOOOO nice to be somewhere semi-permanent finally. (We're here in Idaho Falls, but only in a 1 year lease so will be moving somewhere else in year, but at least it will be in the same town!) It's so nice to feel like I can actually try to belong to the Ward we're in, and make friends, and all that good stuff, because we won't be moving on in 3 months! Setting up practice details is hard, but rotations were HARDER. So, hang in there, friend, and know you can always call me. (While in Oregon, it's still a local call for you as I haven't changed my cell number, yet.)
--Hugs!
Oh Carrie! Don't you just hate it when you feel this way? I'm sure that many of us would agree that we feel many of the same things you are feeling right now. Somehow we'll get through, and it will all work out (it always does) and we'll wonder how. I'm sorry that you can't be with Bryan next rotation--hopefully it will go by quickly!
Oh, I'm so sad you won't be here in Tacoma! What ward will Brian be in? We're in the Surprise Lake ward. Good luck with the transition. Remember, it's only temporary!
I'm so sorry that you had a gloomy time. I hope you have a good time at the reunion.
-Your niece Megan
Hey, sorry it was so hard on you living in our place. We put away all the "breakable" things like my curio and piano so I wasn't worried at all - I should have conveyed that to you so you wouldn't stress about it. I didn't realize you were that worried about it. Anyway, rotations are just so hard aren't they?! For what you've had to deal with you sure sound like you've been a real trooper! I hope this one goes quickly for you. Sometimes it just seems like the days go by so slow...but then the weeks go fast. I'm not sure how I'll get through this next one myself - we've been with my family for 3 months and now with Casey's parents and I am so tired of not being on our own. I just want to be back in our own home, just our little family. Anyway, we'll all get through these rotations somehow and before we know it we'll be seeing each other at graduation right? :)
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