So Incredibly Thankful

On Tuesday morning I took Marcus to the doctor to be circumcised. Since I didn't have the other kids with me, they told me I could come watch the procedure. When I was in high school, we had to take my cat to the vet, and I fainted when they cleaned out his wound with a cotton swab. I wondered if I might find myself on the floor if I went to watch, but decided to give it a try. The whole thing was really no big deal. The part Marcus hated the most was when it was all over and the doctor pulled the blue paper up that was sticking to his skin in parts. Marcus and I went to an exam room so he could recover, and soon the doctor came to check on him. He was bleeding in one spot, and it took the doctor and nurse over a half-hour to get him to stop bleeding. But all was well, and after a while we took off to pick the kids up from the Martin's and get Alyssa to school.

That afternoon we ran errands around town and stopped at Fred Meyer to pick up some baby Tylenol. When we got home around six o'clock, Brian fed the kids a quick dinner and I fed Marcus. He fell asleep so easily that I didn't change his diaper. I wrapped him in a blanket and set him in his swing so he could rest. After we put the kids to bed, I started rounding up all of our clothes to pack for Thanksgiving. Marcus slept through the whole thing, so I was able to get us almost packed. The plan was to leave the next morning right after Brian's class.

A little after nine o'clock Marcus woke up, crying. I almost fed him, changing him half way through, but something told me to change him right away. I set him on the couch and unwrapped the fleece blanket. I was tired and I didn't notice the blood on his pajamas. I unsnapped his crotch and saw that his diaper was almost bright red in color. I don't remember exactly what I thought at that moment. Even though there was plenty of reason to worry, I don't think the worry had sunk into my brain just yet.

I hollered to Brian that Marcus was bleeding and we needed to take him to the emergency room. He came out right away, and the second he saw Marcus, he went into Super Dad mode and hurried to get dressed. He called Casey to come watch the other two kids, and we waited, standing in the middle of the living room until Casey pulled up. Brian and Casey quickly gave Marcus a blessing, and we sped the couple of blocks to the Forest Grove Hospital.

Brian was able to bi pass the admission process by saying "We've got bleeding and a low blood pressure on a two week old." We went through the front door and the second we said the word "circumcision" nurses were pulling us to a table and getting things ready to help Marcus.

At some points there were four nurses and two doctors surrounding Marcus on the table. We knew he lost a lot of blood, and that he was pale and listless when we brought him in. They tried multiple times to get an I.V. into him, but they just couldn't do it. When I was in the other room they decided to put in an Intraosseous infusion, where they give him the fluids directly into the bone marrow. I was coming back into the room when they were punching a hole into his bone, so Brian waved me away so I didn't see anything. Apparently they had to try that a couple of times, and the one they got in was leaking a bit, so they were still trying to get in I.V. into him.

All evening long I saw the possibility of losing Marcus, but it was at this time that that possibility started to feel real. I remember asking Brian if he thought Marcus was going to be okay, and he said he didn't know. I watched all of the nurses and doctors as they worked on our little baby, and I wondered if I would be able to say good-bye to him. I wondered how I would tell Alyssa and Ethan, if we lost him. He had the blessing just before coming to the hospital, but I still spent the hours begging Heavenly Father to let him be okay.

When things would slow down between I.V. tries, and a spot would open at Marcus' side, the nurses would tell me to sit by him and talk to him. Saying "Hey buddy," and "It's okay" to him didn't seem quite right, so I started to sing "I am a Child of God". One of the nurses joined me, and she kept the song going when I couldn't sing any longer.

By the time the ambulance came to transfer us to a different hospital, they had stopped the bleeding, and he had received a bit of fluid from the Intraosseous infusion. His vital signs were good, and they had given up trying to get an I.V. into him. I was able to hold him on the way to the hospital at Oregon Health and Science University. Brian followed us for as long as he could, but once we got to the highway we took off so fast that he lost us. The lights and sirens were on, and even though things weren't a huge emergency at that point, I remember looking out the back window and feeling so grateful for the people pulled over to the side of the road, because it made my baby's journey to the hospital that much quicker and safer. The sirens don't sound very loud when you're inside the ambulance, but when you go under an overpass they echo and sound like the shrieking eels from the movie "Princess Bride." It took going under about five overpasses to figure out what the sound reminded me of.

We got to the hospital and were were taken to a room in the children's section on the ninth floor. Miraculously, Brian joined us just a couple of minutes after reaching the room. Being a university, Marcus was looked at by a couple of residents. They determined that he was well enough to not need an I.V. and they took the Intraosseous infusion out of his leg. (Actually, at some point during transition, it had fallen out, but that was okay.) One very wonderful nurse noticed how hungry Marcus was and told everyone that he needed to eat. I was afraid that they wouldn't let me nurse him, but the same nurse said that that was exactly what he needed.

Brian went home just after two in the morning, and Marcus and I made it through the night in a rocking chair at the hospital. In the morning, the attending physician came to discuss things with the residents. Apparently, they did just fine the night before, but they didn't seem to be concerned with the amount of blood that he lost, even though they had seen the diaper full of blood. She stressed to them that a little guy his size had enough blood in his body to fill a pop can, and losing that much blood, plus a blood clot the size of a golf ball was a huge deal. His body probably went in to shock before we took him to the hospital. Putting it in that perspective made the night before even more scary.

So today is Thanksgiving, and he is doing fine. We obviously have so much to be thankful for this year. I'm thankful for Brian's class on Wednesday that was supposed to be cancelled, but was added on almost last minute. We were upset that we couldn't head to the Tri-Cities on Tuesday, but now I am so glad that we weren't in the middle of nowhere, travelling home, when we discovered the bleeding. I'm thankful for the wonderful nurses and doctors at the hospitals and the EMT people on the ambulance that took such good care of Marcus. I'm thankful for a loving husband who was able to give Marcus a priesthood blessing, and who stood beside me through such a hard time for both of us.

But most of all I'm thankful that all of my children are safe and healthy. I love them all so much, and I don't know what Brian and I would do if we lost any of them. I'm thankful that Heavenly Father listened to our prayers and comforted us. I'm thankful that, after such a horrible shock and strain on his body, that Marcus is doing so well, and that he is still here and a very important part of our family.