I Really Do Love Him

Despite yesterday's link to Brian's horribly rude and funny comment toward the "shape" I am in right now, I would like to take a moment to say just how much I love him. He is such a wonderful guy! He works so hard for our family: going to school, studying for boards, practicing for clinic, etc. And he always takes time each day when he comes home to play with the kids. He's always doing little things to let me know that he loves me. On Thursday night I was having a rough time putting the kids to bed. We extended their bed time by an hour to see if they'd go to sleep better, and by the time they were down, I was absolutely ready to "clock out" for the day. He saw that I needed a break, so yesterday he found a babysitter and surprised me by taking me out a movie. (It was crazy to take a bathroom break halfway through and think, "I'm actually walking somewhere by myself. There's no kids with me." If you don't count the baby, that is.)

A while ago I was thinking about how important Brian is to me, and I realized that I know him better than anyone in the whole world. My mom sees Brian as being perfectly confidant in himself. When finals were approaching in May I told her that Brian was so nervous for the proficiencies coming up. She was baffled. "Brian? Nervous?!? He doesn't get nervous, does he?" There's so much you can learn about a person that comes only from living with them. It's crazy, because thinking back six and a half years ago, I hardly knew him at all. He was just this tall, good-looking guy that I was madly in love with. I don't know if it's that I really didn't know him back then, or if it's just that I know him so much better now. I love being so close with someone and loving them for the wonderful things about them and even loving them despite their faults.

I know that even though Brian likes to tease me, that he loves me so much. I can see how happy he is when he makes me happy, or when he says something hilarious that makes me laugh. And I can tell he worries about me when things aren't going right. When things were at their worst when I was pregnant with Ethan, Brian's mom came to stay with us to help out. I was in and out of the hospital, and nothing they did would help me to stop throwing up. Brian's mom told me that one night before Brian went to bed, he came into the living room and said, "I'm scared." He didn't say anything else, just paused for a moment and turned to go to bed. It makes me feel so loved that my tough and manly husband stepped outside of himself for a moment to let someone know just how much he cares for me.

I'm so glad that I found such a great man to spend the rest of my life and all eternity with. I was only nineteen when we got married, and Brian's apartment manager told us that we would be divorced before five years were up, because I was so young. I told him that when I fell in love and got married that it was forever, and that I was in it for the long haul. So far so good. I couldn't have chosen anyone better to spend eternity with. Someday, after this life, when Brian and I are making worlds together, we'll still be loving each other. And with Brian, I'm sure there will never be a dull moment.