The organist in our ward died a couple of nights ago. He was probably in his forties, with six kids. He had tumors that were related to chromosomal problems that he had been fighting all his life. He was very musical. He frequently played special musical numbers on the piano that he arranged himself, and he was often "spicing up" the last verse of the hymns during sacrament meeting.

Brian and I found out pretty quickly, because the bishop called to have me plan some special hymns for sacrament meeting on Sunday. I was at the zoo when he called, so Brian told him that with the boundary changes last week, we aren't in the ward anymore, but we'll do whatever is needed.

It's at times like these, when you know someone who has died, that you start thinking, "I just saw him last week. I never would have guessed." But instead, I keep thinking of his wife. I passed her on Sunday at the meeting at the Stake center, and we said hi to each other and talked a bit about the changes. I keep thinking, "I just saw her a few days ago, and she looked so happy. Now she's lost her husband." I'm sure that since he's been fighting this since he was a child, that she's had time to at least partially prepare herself emotionally, but even then, it must be so hard.

I keep wondering how I would feel if I lost Brian. I would have Alyssa and Ethan with me, but life would be so empty without him. I loved him when we got married, but of course, I've grown to love him even more throughout the years. It's interesting that we're born into families, and that family has a comforting, permanent feeling. And then when we marry we start a new family and that, somehow becomes permanent also. Even though I've only known Brian for seven years, it feels as though he's always been there. I can't imagine life without him.