There's a Dead Body in My Bath Tub

I'm cooking my first turkey today, and I'm so excited. It's a huge sucker that is taking forever to defrost, so we opted for the tub method last night.

In the picture is the rock Brian gave me, which I used to hold the turkey in the water.

Post Pity Party

So yesterday turned out to be a great day. (Sidenote: I found my fingers pausing while typing the word "great." When I talk to Brian on our Windows Live messenger, all of a sudden a couple of days ago, it's started to put a happy little grey ball man saying "Great!" every time I type the word, "great," and it bugs me.)

Marcus missed his morning nap, then he was threatening to go to sleep just before we had to take Alyssa to school. I didn't think he'd make it until then, so I called Brian's mom to see if she wanted to come sit with the boys while I took Alyssa. She couldn't, but she invited us over to their house instead.

We had a wonderful afternoon. Ethan played, Marcus and I took a nap (a glorious nap!), and we hung out for the rest of the day.

Pity Party - Boo Hoo For Me!

Okay, just give me a few minutes. I know things aren't as bad as they feel. I know it will get better. Everything's going to be okay, but I just want a couple of minutes to complain. Here goes:

I am tired! Two nights ago Marcus was up from 1:00 until 4:30. He wanted to go back to sleep, but for some crazy reason he couldn't. I tried nursing him, rocking him, walking him, laying him down in his crib, laying him down in bed with me...you name it. Yesterday Brian's mom offered to take the kids so I could take a nap, and I turned her down because at that point I was doing okay. Because of that night, last night was crazy. He was ready to go to sleep by five thirty when I was trying to clean up after dinner. Dinner didn't get cleaned up, and I was going to start getting him ready for bed, but because of craziness from some phone calls, a fed ex truck delivering our replacement cell phone next door, me not being able to find my old cell phone, and other things, he didn't get to bed until around 7:30 or 8:00. He was awake twenty minutes later. Ethan also didn't want to go to bed, and he was up and down and up and down.

So I watched an episode of "Pushing Daisies" (I'm really liking that) while rocking Marcus back to sleep. Ethan interrupted a couple of times, and one of those times he wanted a drink of water, even though he had had nearly ten (not an exaggeration) glasses of water just before bed, and he tried to drink his water laying down, which made it spill all around his neck, then I dried him off, flipped his pillow, and he fell asleep in about twenty seconds while crying. Once Marcus was asleep I paused "Pushing Daisies" and went to bed myself. And Marcus was up a lot last night. Nearly every hour. He went back to sleep okay each time, but still. This morning he woke up at 4:30, and I pulled him into bed with me. He fell asleep after a while, then woke up five minutes later, then Ethan woke up, then they both fell asleep, then Alyssa woke up from a bad dream, then she didn't go to sleep, but was at least quiet, then the cat licked my pillow, then all three kids woke up again. Not because of the cat licking my pillow...they just woke up.

When Brian was home last weekend he put Marcus to bed for me, and he did it in record time. The only reason Marcus is waking up all night is to nurse. His usual nights have him waking at 10:00, 12:00, 2:00, 4:00, and 6;00. He's just on a schedule to wake up and nurse. It stinks. He has no interest in nursing during the day. I've tried to nurse him more during the day so he won't want to nurse at night, but he's just not interested. When Brian comes home for Christmas he's going to be on Marcus duty each night, and hopefully that will fix things. If Marcus is still wanting to nurse all night at that point, it just may be time to wean him altogether, because I can't do this for much longer.

And speaking of Brian being home, I want my husband back! Seriously. I'm going to say that again with more exclamation marks. I really, really want my husband back!!! Wow. I wasn't expecting the really's to sneak in there. It stinks not having Brian here. If he was here then I could have had him take Marcus while I cleaned up after dinner. He could have helped me get the kids ready for bed. I'm trying to keep things clean, but our house gets to be such a disaster so quickly, because it's just me against the three kids, and they can make messes a lot faster than I can clean them. My mom and Brian's mom and my friend and visiting teacher have been helping me by taking the kids so I can go shopping, having us over for dinner, etc. I'm so thankful for that help, and I know I couldn't get through this time without it, but it's not the same as having Brian here. It's just not the same.

So today I think we're just going to recover from life. I'm going to finish the dishes, have the kids help me straighten the living room, then we're going to just bum around the house.

Practically Perfect, in Every Way

We had a wonderful weekend. We spent Saturday morning finishing up some baked goodies.

Marcus found the bowl of green frosting.

We made a mess of the kitchen.

But it was so worth it.

We went caroling around our street, which was so much fun. This was the first year that Alyssa was really able to join in. We sang "Silent Night" and "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" at each house, and when we were done singing Alyssa would run back to our house to pick up another plate of goodies. It was raining pretty heavily, and while we were out, the rain turned to snow. It was beautiful! I love to go caroling. This year, I loved seeing the excitement on Alyssa's face and getting to know our neighbors a bit better.

We went to dinner at Brian's parent's house. We hung out for a bit afterward, then got bundled up to go see the Boat Parade at Howard Amon Park. The couple of times we went when I was little, we never got out of the car, so this time we didn't bundle up as much as we should have. I figured we would drive over, watch the fireworks, get out to see Santa for a few minutes, then get back in the car to watch the boats go by.



Instead, we were running a bit behind, so we ended up parking across George Washington Way to see the fireworks. They were so cool! Fireworks are great, but when they're choreographed to music (as these were) they are super-super cool!

Since we were already parked, we went ahead and walked across the street to wait for the boats. It was 7:45, and the newspaper estimated that the boats would reach Howard amon Park around 7:00. So we rushed over, then waited in the cold with everyone else. We watied...and waited....and after a while we finally saw some lights coming down the river. The parade was 26 boats long, but we only lasted through 6 before we ran back to the car. Even though it was cold, it was still so much fun. It was...cold fun.

Brian took off early yesterday, because of the snow. We didn't want him traveling in the evening when it was more likely that the roads would be icey. He made it to Portland okay, and we're counting down the days until Christmas Eve, when we'll see him again.

Season of Miracles

Have you had one of those days where you wake up and you feel great, and for the first fifteen minutes you think of all the wonderful things you're going to accomplish that day? I'm going to completely clean the house, you think, and organize the cupboards and finish this and that, and it's going to be great! And then reality hits and the kids cling to your legs all day and cry when you try to do anything but sit and hold them - but the thing is, they don't really want you to hold them or play with them. They just want to keep you from doing anything but pay attention to them. And then at the end of the day you realize you didn't accomplish anything at all, not just the things on your list.

I've had days like that, and they stink. But today was not one of those days!

I woke up with no specific plans on accomplishing anything, but I actually did so much. We had a slow, relaxing morning. The house was reasonably clean, and at 11:15 we took Alyssa to school. The boys and I made a quick stop at Winco, and both boys fell asleep on the way home...and stayed asleep long enough for me to bake a ton of Christmas tree sugar cookies. And my parents just happened to stop by a little before I had to pick up Alyssa, so I was able to leave the boys with them, instead of waking them up to drive to Alyssa's school.

And this afternoon the kids stayed happy enough for me to make goodies to deliver to our neighbors tomorrow. Plus we cleaned the house, and went to a Barbershop Christmas concert.

It has been a wonderful day, and I've gotten so much done. Who knew that could ever happen?

And Brian just got home. He gave us all hugs at the door, but now he's being lovingly attacked by the kids. I've got to go fight for my turn.

Lunch Time

The first bite of a corn dog is, in my opinion, the best bite of a corn dog.

Missing My Pillow Flipper

Brian and I spent our honeymoon at the Anniversary Inn in Logan Utah. It was snowy and beautiful. Being Valentine's Day weekend, we got a huge discount at Tony Roma's next door when we showed our hotel key, so we ate there a lot. We watched a lot of Richard Gere movies, because that's what they had in the hotel movie library. And we discovered that when two people try to cuddle while they're sleeping at night, one of those people usually has their head on the pillow, and the other person usually has their head halfway on the pillow or not on the pillow at all.

We didn't like that situation, so we came up with a brilliant plan, and stopped at Walmart on the way into Provo, UT to purchase a body pillow that would soon become our normal pillow. We bought a green pillow case for it, saw that it fit perfectly across our queen sized bed, and I, at least, was awestruck by our brilliance.

That night, our first night together in our tiny apartment, we snuggled down in bed, completely comfortable, and fell asleep. Not too much later, I was woken up when the pillow was pulled from under my head, turned over, then plopped back on top of my face. I don't think I really understood exactly what was going on until quite a few pillow flips later, but about halfway through mid morning, I discovered that every so often through the night, Brian flips his pillow. He picks it up, turns it over, sometimes folds it in two, then lays his head back down. He does this because he likes to lay his face on the cool side of the pillow, then as his body heat warms the side he's laying on, he flips it to the cool side...all night long.

So our brilliant plan didn't work. We put the body pillow on the bed when we made it each day, and took it off when we went to sleep each night. Brian has had his own pillow to flip ever since then.

Now the good thing about Brian flipping and punching and fluffing his pillow throughout the night is that his pillows never go flat. My pillows always go flat, which is why I'm glad that he goes for my pillow on mornings that he stays in bed longer than I do, because that way my pillows get some good fluffing, too.

So with Brian being gone, my pillow is very flat. I lay down each night, and I can hardly tell that there is a pillow there at all. It's taken me a while to figure it out, but last night I discovered that I could use the pillow that he uses when he comes home! Problem solved, and I know which pillow he'll be using next time he comes to visit, because mine needs some serious fluffing.

Decorated, Again

Kissmas Tree

My mom came up with this idea when we were little. We've just barely started calling it a Kissmas tree, though. I don't know if that was a unanimous decision, or if it was only Kim and me. Each ornament has a Hershey kiss for everyone in the family, so everyone gets a kiss each day as you count down until Christmas. This was one of my favorite traditions; it's exciting to get some chocolate every day, and it's so pretty.

The Italian Won't Sleep

I rocked Marcus for two hours (12:15 - 2:09) and he finally fell asleep. Two minutes later, Ethan woke up just for a second, but he hollered loud enough to wake Marcus again. I think I may have frightened the neighbors when, at that point, I hollered out of complete frustration.

I got dressed enough to go outside, thinking we would go for a drive, but then it didn't feel safe to go driving during the middle of the night. So Marcus is sitting on my lap, with his little pointer finger sticking out, trying to do his own typing, and we are blogging. Blog, blog, blog. Blogging.


On the plus side, he looks quite dapper with his first official haircut. And he's starting to yawn.

Decorated

This is my favorite ornament this year. We bought it at McMenamin's Grand Lodge right before we moved as a souvenir to remember living in Forest Grove. We had a great time decorating the tree last night. All the ornaments start at about three feet high to keep Marcus away from them, but the tree is still beautiful.

Turkey Day

Yesterday was great. I can easily rank it as my favorite Thanksgiving to date. I feel incredibly blessed; there is absolutely so much to be thankful for. With Brian living away from us, every time he comes home is a treasure. I have three beautiful, healthy children who are such a joy. It's great to live so close to both Brian's and my families. Life is wonderful.

We started the day searching the internet for a way to watch the Macy's parade, and all we found was a 2 by 2 inch webcam. We watched and listened to in long enough to get the feeling of it, then we turned it off. (My mom recorded it, so we'll really watch it today.)

Alyssa and Ethan spent the morning stringing beads on pipe cleaners to make candy cane ornaments, I spent the morning baking beautiful, but slightly burnt pies, Brian spent the morning studying for boards, and Marcus spent the morning playing with camels from the Fisher Price nativity set. We went to Thanksgiving dinner at Grandma Orton's house, and dessert at my parents house.

And today the kids and I are going to my parent's to finish up some Christmas tree advent calendars while Brian studies some more, and then tonight we're decorating our Christmas tree! Yea!! Whoo!! Christmas tree!!

The Best Intentions

I have never been great at sending Christmas cards. I've been grown and married for almost eight years now, and I've only sent them out twice. I love getting Christmas cards, though, and the best way to get mail is to send mail. This year I am bound and determined to send out a whopping huge pile of Christmas cards. The only problem is that I need your address.

Friends from the Tri-Cities, friends from Utah, friends from Forest Grove (everyone from our old wards, and optometry students, especially those who have graduated and moved on or who are now on rotations), blog readers (even lurkers), brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, cousins, people I have never met before, everybody...please send your address to carrielynnjacks@gmail.com and in turn you will receive a (hopefully) super cool Christmas card from us.

Hollidaisy!

For anybody looking for some great, hand-crafted gifts this holiday season, check hollidaisy, my friend's new etsy shop. Everything (hand knitted baby sweaters, girly hair clips, scarves, cards, and more) is absolutely adorabe, and I was quite impressed by the prices. If you need some Christmas present ideas, feel free to check it out. She's also doing a give away, and you can check out her blog for details.

First and Last two lines copyrighted by Cali Hawkins. I copied hers, because she said everything perfectly. I guess if it was copyrighted, I'd be in jail right now. Please don't turn me in.

Dynamic Duo

Climbing into the heating vent is only one mess these boys tend to get into. They also like to play with garbage cans, toilets, kitchen cupboards, cereal boxes, dirt from potted plants, etc., etc.

Every Girl's Dream

I have two boys fighting over me all day long, and I have one hunk of a man calling me two or three times a day.

This is what happens when I sit at the computer or on the couch or at the table. They are constantly fighting over my lap. It might look like they're just hugging my legs, but they are really climbing my legs, trying to push each other off.

Ethan seems to be feeling a little neglected lately. I think he needs more attention. When Alyssa tells me something (anything!) he stands right beside her and grunts, pointing to wherever she may be pointing, and motioning with his hands just like she does. And if Marcus gets hurt or gets stuck somewhere, Ethan will go pretend the same thing happened to him, so he can get some extra lovin' too. The other day Marcus fell and got stuck between a chair and a wall, and after I rescued him, Ethan went and put himself between the same chair and spot of wall, then pretended to cry until I went to get him, too.

This whole thing started out with Ethan running to my lap every time Marcus heads that way, but now Marcus is being just as competitive. It's hilarious.

And Things Were Going So Well

Okay, we had a rough evening. I've had a headache all day. We've been fighting colds for the last couple of weeks. I'm tired, the kids are tired, and as soon as the water heats up for my Theraflu, I'm going to bed.

Wow, that was fast. If you turn our back burner on high, it can get a pot of water boiling in about a minute, no kidding.

Here's the story, in four lines:

Yesterday: "Things are great! They're not perfect, but everything is under control. I've got great kids, I'm a great mom, and we have one fabulous cat."

This evening: "I'm just about to lose it you guys. Can't you see I'm losing it?" Actually, I didn't let my temper get the best of me. I didn't yell, but there was a part of me that really wanted to.

A few minutes ago: "Seriously, things are so out of control. What have I been thinking? Our life is crazy!"

Now: "The kids are in bed. That pink steaming cup of Theraflu, infused with berries, is looking so nice. I'm headed to bed."

Breakfast Buddies

Why is it that when I say, "Everybody go to the table for breakfast," or lunch or dinner or snack or dessert, that everyone crowds into our little kitchen instead of going to the dining room?

Outnumbered

Overall, being a "single mother" hasn't been that difficult. Most of the time, it feels like things are pretty well under control. That doesn't mean that my house is perfectly clean - it means that I've been able to keep up with laundry enough that everyone has clothes to wear each day, and that there aren't too many dirty dishes in the kitchen. Most of the time, I'm not stressed, and I'm not overwhelmed. But there are just certain times that pop up every now and again where everything comes rushing at me, and it's just so hard. Yesterday we stayed home from church because the boys' colds were very bad, but Alyssa, even though she has a cold too, was feeling fine. She was so busy yesterday. It's not too much of a stretch to say that she was jumping off the walls. By the end of the day I was so tired and frazzled from all that busy-ness. As I was getting the kids ready for bed Alyssa was doing kung foo, Ethan and Marcus were running all around the dressing room, and my mind was screaming, "There's three of them, and only one of me! What am I going to do?!?"

Luckily, there haven't been too many moments like that, and once I got all three kids settled in bed, things were much better. I've really had to adjust my attitude over the last few months. Even though my house has never been spotlessly clean, I'm not the type of person who normally leaves dirty dishes to sit overnight. I usually like to go to bed with a clean house, so I can wake up to a clean house the next morning. But right now, that's not where all of my time and energy needs to be spent.

I really enjoyed President Monson's talk this last conference titled "Finding Joy in the Journey." He only spoke a few words to mothers with young children, but those few words made such an impact on me. He said, "If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly." I don't think I'll miss the piles of laundry, but I will miss the children who wore the clothes. When he said that, I realized that I need to take advantage of all the opportunites I have to really be with my children while they're young. I've had to let the dishes slide, because if I didn't, I wouldn't have the time or energy to do things with my children.

One of our traditions is to make sugar cookies in the shape of pumpkins and decorate them just before Halloween each year. This year, Halloween kept getting closer and closer, and we hadn't done that yet. Finally one night I decided that we would just do it. I was still working on costumes, so we were already behind on the dishes. I almost wanted to do dishes, and then make and decorate cookies, but I realized that if I did that, then we would never get around to the "decorating cookies" part. So the kids and I decorated cookies at the dining room table, and we had to work around a pile of our dirty dinner dishes. It wasn't easy. It wasn't ideal. But I am so glad we did it.

If I was on the outside of my life, looking in I would say, "Oh that must be so hard to take care of three children while your husband is away." I would look at it as a simple, difficult situation. But being on the inside, I feel that it isn't that difficult at all, because I'm choosing to look at it as an opportunity to really focus on my children, and that, to me, is a blessing.

Winken, Blinken, and Nod

note: This post is much longer than I expected it to be. I want to be able to remember the good parts about putting them kids to bed at night after they've all grown up and left the house. I love tucking them in, and I want to be able to remember how we do it.

Our full bedtime routine goes as follows:

6:30 Ideally we would be having scripture study and reading time each night, but we've kind of gotten out of the habit of that since Brian left. We're working on it, though.

6:45ish While we're starting to get ready for bed, I sing the kids a song we made up a couple of months ago. It's kind of a jazzy number they sing with me. It basically goes:

Carrie: Alyssa are you ready for bed?
Alyssa: No!
Carrie: Alyssa are you ready for bed? (This one goes a little higher than the first.)
Alyssa: No!
Carrie: Aren't you tired?
Alyssa: No!
Carrie: Aren't you sleepy?
Alyssa: No!
Carrie: Alyssa are you ready for bed? (This one actually goes down.)

And then I sing it to Ethan and Marcus. It was so cute when Ethan caught on to the idea and started to sing his own "no's" in the correct places.

We get the kids pajamas on them while we're singing this song. Marcus actually has a couple of night time diapers that are different than the rest, because he pees like crazy just before he wakes up in the morning. He wears bamboo diapers to bed, because they're super absorbent. I don't know why anyone needed to know that. Hhhmm. After getting pajamas on, Alyssa brushes her teeth. We haven't been doing so great with Ethan and Marcus' teeth lately. We need to fix that.

Next, we have family prayer, and we group together for prayer by singing the Primary song that goes Let us gather in a circle, and kneel in family prayer to thank our Heavenly Father for the blessings we all share. We sing that, because it's what my family sang for family prayers when I was growing up, and because -face it- it's a great song.

Next comes the actual "tucking in" part. Alyssa and Ethan say their personal prayers, then I tuck them in to bed and ask them what their favorite part of the day was. (This was also something I got from my mom and dad.) We haven't started saying personal prayers for Marcus yet. When Ethan was this age, we went ahead and said a prayer for him, not pretending to talk for him, but saying things like, "We're so thankful for Ethan," and "Please help Ethan sleep well tonight," until he was able to start saying them himself. I'd like to start doing this for Marcus now that he's getting older so he can feel more included in being tucked in. Alyssa's answer to the favorite part of the day question is always (and I do mean always) "Everything." I tried to make her pick one specific thing for a while, but it didn't stick. Ethan usually grunts an answer, or just says, "Day," so next I ask, "Was ______ the best part of your day?" and he says, "Yeah." See, this whole sequence, in Alyssa's mind, is tied together as one action: tucking in. If Marcus is screaming and I'm trying to just nurse him to get him to sleep quickly, I can't just listen to Alyssa's prayers and ask her her favorite part of the day, because that's not tucking her in. I have to do it all. Tonight she actually climbed into her blankets on her own after her prayer, because she was cold, and she told me that I didn't have to tuck her in, that she would give me the night off. I told her that since she was already in her covers, I'd just ask her about her day, and she said I didn't need to do that because I wasn't tucking her in that night. After a five minute discussion, we ended up deciding that we would go ahead talk about her day, then after I laid Marcus down I would take her blankets off of her, put them back on, and tuck her in. Kind of silly, but she was happy with it.

After "Tucking In" I sit on Ethan's bed and nurse Marcus while I sing the kids their bedtime songs. I always sing them in the same order. Most of it is kind of like a medley - the last word of the current song gives a clue as to what the next song will be (i.e. "I'm Trying to be like Jesus" ends in for these are the things Jesus taught, and the next song is "Teach Me to walk in the Light.") Actually, now that I think about it, those are the only two songs that do that. I thought there were more. Oh well. Alyssa knows the order, though, and if I'm quiet for a minute or two between songs, she'll tell me what I should be singing, and sometimes she sings them with me. Ethan's starting to sing them with us, too, but he's at the stage where he sings only the last word of each line, a split second too late. It's very cute.

I start singing with another song that we made up that goes Now it's time to say goodnight. Now it's time to hold you tight. We've said your prayers and talked about your day. Now it's time to say goodnight. Now it's time to say goodnight. Yes, now it's time to tuck you tight - into your bed. Lay down your head. Yes, now it's time to say goodnight. (Here's where it get's exciting.) Lay down your sleep head. Snuggle into your bed. (Crescendo) Close your eyes and go to sleep my little ones. (Now it's quiet again.) Now it's time to say goodnight. Yes, now it's time to hold you tight. Lay down in bed, and rest your sleepy head. For now it's time to say goodnight. Usually by now Marcus is done nursing, and I walk around the room, rocking him.

Next on the list is "I Am a Child of God." I like to think of that song as our comfort song. I sing it to my babies long before they're born, and then I sing it to them when they're nursing or being loved. In theory, if there's ever a problem, I can sing it to them and they know they're okay. I basically started that so I could calm them down when they're unhappy about being strapped in their car seat, but I sang it to Marcus when he was in the Emergency Room when he was a newborn, and at least it helped me feel better. Hopefully it helped him feel better, too.

The next song is one that my mom used to sing to us. I don't know where it came from. I googled it, and I could only find versions that were similar, but nothing exactly the same. Apparently, it's the "Go to Bed Song," and the version my mom sang to us goes Go to bed one, a golden sun. Go to bed two, a golden shoe. (And the chorus is) Sleep, sleep, go to sleep. Go to sleep, my little one sleep. And then it counts up to ten with the chorus after the even numbers. Its verses are three/tree, four/door, five/hive, six/sticks, seven/heaven, eight/gate, nine/sign, ten/hen.

Then I sing, "Jesus Once Was a Little Child," "I'm trying to be like Jesus," "Teach Me to Walk in the Light," and then if Marcus isn't asleep by then I add, "Love One Another," and "Heavenly Father Loves Me." Usually Marcus and Ethan are sleeping at this point, and I go give Alyssa another kiss on the forehead and say good night to her.