Now That's My Kind Of Volcano

I have to admit that we don't always do the science experiments that K12 wants us to do in their lessons.  In fact, since I've been pregnant, a lot of the time I just read through the experiment with Alyssa.  "Okay, pretend we did this...and what do you think would happen?...Yeah, this and this would happen and we would learn..."

But today, we were learning how igneous rocks are formed, and when we went to the experiment page of the lesson, and I read ,"Melt 1/2 cup of chocolate chips..." I looked at Alyssa and said, "Meet me in the kitchen."

It was actually a pretty cool experiment.  Very simple and very cool.  We built our mountain out of a cup and some foil, melted our lava chocolate chips*, and then poured the lava down the mountain, now a volcano.  The point of the experiment was to illustrate that when it's in the earth, the lava is called "magma," then it's lava when it breaks through the crust, and when the lava cools, it hardens into igneous rock.  Right now our igneous rock is still hardening, and we're anxiously waiting to eat it.

*If you want to try this, the recipe for the lava is 1/2 c. melted chocolate chips mixed with 1 tsp. canola oil.  It made it the perfect consistency to flow down the mountain.  We doubled it so we can eat more chocolate.

I Guess 2 Nephi Is Boring For Kids

Alyssa fell asleep during scripture study last night, too, but she woke up when we were done and said, "I'm going to bed and I'm going to tuck myself in," and got up and left. 

 And I couldn't help but get a picture of the kids during Read Aloud Time a few minutes ago.  I love having Alyssa home with us during the day!

I Love My Daddy

I've been wanting to write about this for a while, but I haven't really gotten a chance to yet.  Over the weekend I decided that since it's been exactly a month since it happened, it's as good a time as any.

On Valentine's Day last month Will, Nelsa, Brian, and I hopped off of Toy Story Mania in California Adventure and headed to a churro stand to get a snack.  While Brian was ordering, my phone rang.  I answered it and stepped to the side of the churro stand, to be out of the way.  It was my sister.  She began by saying that they were in the hospital, but every time she said, "because..." a roller coaster would go by, making it impossible for me to hear.  I honestly thought that one of her kids had broken an arm or a leg or something, and she was just calling me as an FYI sort of thing.  I covered my free ear with my hand, and tried to get away from the noise.

"Dad had a stroke this morning," I finally heard, and immediately I started crying.  Christina kept telling me not to cry, that everything was okay, and that he was doing well.  She didn't have much else that she could tell me, so we hung up, and I waited until we got back to our hotel to call my mom.

He had the stroke that Monday morning, a little while after getting to work.  It manifested itself by making him dizzy, lightheaded, and nauseated.  He later said that the room was spinning and he felt so sick, so he just lay down on the floor.  One of his co-workers walked by his room, asked if he was okay, and he said, "No," so they called an ambulance.  At first they thought it was just an extremely severe attack of the flu, but once he got to the hospital, they found out if was a stroke.

While I talked with my mom that night, we thought of all the things that we were thankful for: that it didn't happen while he was driving to work, that someone walked by his door at just the right moment to get him help, that my mom wasn't staying with my kids (which was the original plan) and she was able to head to the hospital right away without figuring out what to do with them.  I felt bad that I wasn't home with everyone, but Mom said that Dad was doing okay, and that Brian and I should finish out our vacation.  I also realized that all six of us kids couldn't be hanging around the hospital at the same time, and that even if I was in the Tri-Cities, most of my time would be spent at home, waiting for news anyway.  So Brian and I sent some flowers to Dad's room, called multiple times a day to see how things were going, then we visited him in the hospital as soon as we arrived home.

Dad's recovery has been great.  He has full use of his mind - he remembers everything, and has even gone back to work part time, because he's the only one who knows how to do his job correctly.  He's been using a cane to steady him when he walks, and he goes to physical therapy a few times a week.  The stroke has been a huge wake up call for him to get his life in order health-wise, and I've heard he's lost thirty pounds since the end of January.

We are all so glad that Dad is still with us, both physically and mentally.  When I first heard the news, I was so scared of losing him, and I'm so happy he's still here.  I can't imagine what life would be like without my Dad.

This Is How Cool My Brothers Are

Phil, Mike, Nathan, and Chris Baugh got together a while back to put together a rifftrax of them making fun of the movie, "10,000 BC."  They started planning the whole thing last summer, and they've been working furiously to get it done ever since.  If you remember the MST3K show on Comedy Central, it will give you a clue as to what a rifftrax is.  Basically, it's a bunch of funny guys watching a horribly boring movie and making fun of it.  Phil and Nate did a bit of the editing at our house, so I've seen bits and pieces of what they've done, and what I've seen is pretty darn funny.

So if you're interested in a cheap, at-home date night: pop some popcorn, grab a pack of root beer, and settle down with Ominous Project's version of "10,000 BC."

Info:  In ages past the world was a hostile place where mankind eked out an existence in constant fear of giant birds and monstrous shag-carpet elephants. But among these troglodytes arose a man whose destiny would lead him to unite the various tribes, tame the hordes of furry beasts, and establish a new way of life among his people. That man was Jim Henson, and this unfortunately is not his story. Instead, Ominous Projects invites you to join us for a commentary that makes watching 10,000 BC marginally less painful.


Edited to add:  Brian just informed me that because of copyright laws you need to have a copy of the movie in order to watch it with the rifftrax.  So if you want to watch it (and you know you all do) you will need to either buy it (not worth it) or rent it (my suggestion) or if you're in the Tri-Cities, my brother has a copy you could borrow.  Have fun!

Edited, yet again, to add: I watched it a couple of night ago, and it was great!  I actually thought the movie itself was pretty interesting, but it was so long and drawn out that I wouldn't have made it through the whole thing without the funny comments.  The second to last comment is my absolute favorite.

30 Already?!?

Brian says I'm getting old, but he has four years on me, so I'll never be as old as him!

Yesterday was a wonderful day.  To start, Brooke sent me Facebook wishes that I wouldn't feel sick, and I didn't throw up yesterday morning.  Yea!  I didn't even dry heave or gag, which is unusual for non-throwing up mornings.  

The kids and I spent the morning doing school, laundry, and cleaning, then we had some friends and cousins over after lunch for a play group.  The day started out rainy, but the sun came out periodically and the kids were able to play outside the whole afternoon.

Our friends stayed until just a little before Brian was expected home.  When everyone was gone I lay in bed for a bit (which Alyssa says I do all the time) and then Brian came home with flowers and a birthday cake.  We went out to dinner at Three Flames Mongolian Barbecue, which was a lot of fun.  I love Mongolian barbecue, but we weren't sure what the kids would think of it.  They liked it, but the boys were having so much fun playing with their noodles and watching the cooks at the oven that they barely ate their food.  That means leftovers for lunch today!

We were going to have the cake for dessert, but by the time we got home we were tired and already full, so we're saving it for tonight.  We put the kids to bed, watched a couple of episodes of Phineas and Ferb, got a fun Happy Birthday Phone Call from Katie, where she made fun of us for watching Phineas and Ferb, then I fell asleep while Dr. Doofenshmirtz was laying out one of his diabolical plans.

See? It was a good day.

We actually had my family birthday party on Monday for Family Home Evening, because we thought it was the best time to get everyone together.  Brian's parents offered to bring over dinner before the party, and they brought Alice Spring Chicken with jell-o salad and baked potatoes.  So yummy!  You know the Alice Spring Chicken at Outback?  Brian's dad got the copy cat recipe, and he makes it at home on his fancy schmancy barbecue - only better.  We had a great time having everyone over.  My parents gave me a cupcake decorating book with a lot of fun ideas, and Brian's parents gave me a whoopie pie pan and a heart-shaped cupcake pan.  I guess the secret is out that I like to bake.  My dad also gave me a gift certificate for a one-hour massage.  Apparently he won it at a company dinner, and everyone at their table (Mom, Dad, Erin, and Phil) agreed that I would enjoy it.  I'm excited!

I have been so happy lately that I just know this next year of life is going to be wonderful.  We'll get a brand new beautiful baby, I won't be pregnant anymore, and things will just keep going as wonderfully as they have been.  I get on pregnancy forums sometimes, and I see so many women complaining about their husbands, their parents, their in-laws, their children, and I'm so thankful to have a husband who loves me and works hard for our family, three fun children who make life exciting, a family close by to hang out with, great in-laws that have become my own family, and a soft and fluffy cat who sits around all day being soft and fluffy.  I really am blessed.  Life is great!

I Think Things Are Getting Back To Normal

I haven't thrown up since Monday!  I still feel sick all the time, but I'm not throwing up in the morning anymore. I think this is the longest I've gone without throwing up while being pregnant.  On Monday I went to a doctor appointment, and when I told him that I was down to just throwing up every morning, he literally jumped out of his chair and exclaimed, "That's wonderful!"  I really, really like my doctor.

So without throwing up each morning, my nausea has decreased a notch throughout the day, and I find that I'm functioning almost like a normal person.  I made a meal plan for the week and went grocery shopping, and then I've actually made those meals I planned.  We're back to cleaning up and running the dishwasher after dinner each evening, which leaves me with a clean kitchen to start the morning with the next day.  I love it!  Plus, I've done the most genius thing I've ever done and gave Alyssa the job of cleaning out the dishwasher each morning and Ethan the job of setting the table each evening, and it's funny how not worrying about those two little things takes so much stress off my shoulders.

We've also started to do "Two-Minute Tidy" each evening in the family room and the kids' bedrooms where we set the timer for two-minutes and clean like crazy.  It's actually kept the family room clean and the kids' rooms under control.

We've gone back to having family scripture study in the quiet room instead of on Brian's and my bed.  It used to be that I'd feel so sick in the evenings that I laid down on the couch right after dinner, barely supervised the kids getting ready for bed, then I laid down in my bed and we'd have scripture study just before bedtime.  With it being on my bed, Ethan and Marcus would climb up and down, and run to their rooms for stuffed animals, and cause quite a ruckus.  Now that we're back to reading in the quiet room, the kids are all sitting on the couch with their scriptures, and it's so much better.  Just FYI, we call our living room the quiet room, because I decorated it with just gospel related things: pictures of Jesus, pictures of the temple, etc.  We keep all our religious books in there, and we also put some of Brian's German religious books on display.  We have glass votives with eggs in them that I set out for Easter and left out because I liked that they symbolize the resurrection.  We have antique keys that Brian got from Germany out, to represent the keys of the priesthood.  We have Alyssa's baptism picture on the shelf, next to her baptism certificate.  Anyway, when I first decorated the room, we sat the kids down and had them look around.  We told them that this is the room that we want to keep special to most feel the spirit in our home.  We're Home taught in that room, we have scripture study there, and we sometimes have Family Home Evening there.  We said that it is a quiet room, and the name kind of stuck.

Moving on.

Now that I'm feeling better, I'm also ready to take on all of our projects.  We had two contractors come to give us estimates on concrete brick fences today - too expensive.  We'll be doing a wood fence ourselves.  It's much better on the budget.  I went to JoAnn Fabrics today and bought material for crib bedding for the nursery.  (We actually have room for a nursery this time!)  I'm planning a woodland theme with pinks and greens and creams.  If the nursery turns out anything like I'm imagining it in my head, it will be gorgeous.  There's other projects running around in my head right now: putting a mantel on the fireplace, decorating our bedroom, decorating the downstairs bathroom, etc., but those things are going to have to wait until we have the time and the money to do them.

I don't consider myself to be an overly emotional person, even as a pregnant lady, but today the kids were watching Phineas and Ferb - the episode where it's their mom's birthday - and I actually caught myself crying when Candace sang the "Mom It's Your Birthday" song.  Sad, I know.

The kids are all about babies right now.  Alyssa, who is not and never really was a "toy person" has been carrying around a baby doll and taking care of it.  She even had the boys guard the baby while it was taking a nap while Alyssa was playing outside, and the boys paced in front of it, saying, "Hup, two three four," for about five minutes, until they got bored and ran off.  The boys have been wrapping up their zhu zhu pets in blankets much too big for the little rodents and carrying them around as well.  It's fun.  Ethan named his Dowpia, which I love.  It's so cute.

Oh, I think that's about it.  School is going well.  We did a whole unit of Science yesterday, so we took today off to get started on our house projects.  We learned about the digestive system and grossed Alyssa out.  She actually said, "Mom, do we have to learn about this?  It makes my stomach sick."  We kept going, though.  We learned about all of it, all the way to the excretory system, much to Alyssa's dismay.

So, yeah, things are getting to be pretty normal around here.  I'm twenty weeks pregnant now, and the baby will be here in about four and a half months.  I'm getting pretty excited to be half way there and starting the countdown.  When our little one makes her debut in July, I'm sure things will get pretty shaken up again, but for now I'm going to enjoy the peace of a reasonably clean house and mostly followed schedule.

Edited to add: Is there any way to knock on wood on the internet? Both times I've posted about feeling better, I've had a relapse.  Last night I woke up at one in the morning, feeling absolutely sick, and I lost my dinner. Then I threw up again when I woke up this morning.  Craziness.  Brian brought me a bowl of granola in bed, and I just took my medication, so I'm feeling better now.  I hope it lasts.  Maybe I'll knock on the monitor.

Maybe This Will Help

Would Everyone Who Ever Needs To Inspect Noodles Forget Or Remember About Noodles Under Low Trees? Really, After Sharing Our Umbrella Noodles, Don't Tell Others. Different Amounts Yell, "Ahoy!" Nobody Deferred For Other Umbrella Noodles, Despite Others Under Trees Telling How Attempts To Win Every Awesome Rally Escaped. However, After Viewing Informal Noodles, Go Ahead. Lastly, I Told Them Loudly, "Everyone, Go In Really Low And Noodles, Don't Waver." Except After Rehashing Everything, To Honestly, Really Inspect, Lay Low Enough Down.*



We got back from California yesterday, and we're excited to be back together as a family again.  It was fun to have Ethan come snuggle in bed with us when he got up this morning.  But you know what?  We had SO MUCH FUN!  I admit that Disneyland without kids is missing that little bit of magic you feel watching your children experience the magic of Disneyland, but even though I missed our kids sometimes, I never regretted going on a special trip without them.   Running around Disneyland with Will and Nelsa (and Will's sister and her husband sometimes - we were surprised that they were there too!) without kids had a magic all it's own, and we had a blast.

We went on ride after ride, wandered around the shops, ate yummy yummy food (the Monte Crisco sandwiches in New Orleans Square are just as good as everyone says they are), watched the fireworks show (my favorite!) and the World of Color show (Brian's favorite), watched the Aladdin show, slept in as late as possible, and just had a fabulous time.

*2-25-11 Edited to add: We went in for an ultrasound today and found out that we are having a little girl and we are thrilled!

Letter/Word Puzzle

Would everyone who ever needs to inspect noodles forget or remember about noodles under low trees? Really, after sharing our umbrella noodles, don't tell others. Different amounts yell, "Ahoy!" Nobody deferred for other umbrella noodles, despite others under trees telling how attempts to win every awesome rally escaped. However, after viewing informal noodles, go ahead. Lastly, I told them loudly, "Everyone, go in really low and noodles, don't waver." Except after rehashing everything, to honestly, really inspect, lay low enough down.

Feeling Alive!

See the clean floors and counters?

The groundhog said Spring is coming!  Yea Spring!  I can't wait!  I'm tired of being cold, especially since I can't button my coat all the way 'cause my belly is too big, and I can't wait until we can play outside all the time and work in our yard and put up our fence and all those other wonderful things that Spring brings.

The sun is shining outside our window right now, and it just makes me happy.

I started feeling better yesterday, too.  I'm back to a low grade constant nausea that is pretty easy to handle.  Yesterday I felt good enough to clean the kitchen and family room, which really really needed it.  I even cleaned out the microwave - it was nasty!  And while I was cleaning I tossed out our old yucky dish scrubber and started a list (a list!) of things we need to buy at Target.  I am a huge list person, and you know things haven't been right by the fact that this is the first list I've made since before Thanksgiving.  I even called my mom and said, "I'm making a list!"

I'm excited to decorate for Valentine's Day, too.  I think our house might end up being more decorated for Valentine's Day and St. Patrick's Day and Easter than it was for Christmas.  We have very few V-Day decorations, but I cut the word "love" out of construction paper and taped it to the old window hanging in our family room, and I set out our little hugging monkey stuffies on a candle holder by the kitchen.  i do have a TON of paper hearts that we can hang in the windows and from the ceiling, and I think we'll head to Hobby Lobby and Craft Warehouse in the next few days and see what they have for cheap.

Also, 11 days until Brian and I leave for Disneyland.  Woo hoo!

my dad and me and my mom!

Last night I found a sealed envelope under my pillow, and inside it was a picture and a letter from Alyssa.  It took me a few minutes to notice my pregnant tummy, and when I did I laughed out loud.  At least my legs are skinny - if only they looked that great in real life!

The letter says, "Dear Mom, I want you to know that when you're sick it makes me sorry for you.  It just makes me feel so icky inside.  I want to be the best helper I can! So, if there's anything I can do, please let me know! Love, Alyssa  P.S. Thank you for the crayons" 

I had a relapse of some bad sickness this last week, because I missed my medication on Monday afternoon and did pretty well and thought, "Hey, maybe I'm far enough along I don't need medication anymore," and skipped Tuesday morning.  By Tuesday at lunch I was throwing up and dry heaving a lot, and it lasted through Wednesday until I could get the medication in my system again.  Yeah, you'd think that at 15 weeks I'd be far enough along to at least have the morning sickness under control - nope!

Brian's mom came over on Wednesday to help out, and while she was cleaning and asking the kids for help, they were complaining about everything they had to do.  On Wednesday evening I just heated up some leftovers and tossed a salad for dinner, and when I asked Alyssa to set the table, she started complaining again.  I explained to her that my body is sick because it's making a baby, and because of that I need to rest and take care of my body so the baby can be healthy, and whatever she and the boys do to help me out while I'm pregnant, it will help them to love the baby more when it comes.  She gave me a sweet hug and has been helping out ever since.  Yesterday she cleaned out the dishwasher and filled it back up again with the breakfast dishes AND ran it through a cycle with just a few dishes in it to surprise me.  It was so sweet!  She's a wonderful girl!

Getting Terribly Excited

I think everyone knows by now that we're Disneyland freaks.  Okay, I'm the Disneyland freak, and Brian is quickly becoming converted.  It took us forever to go, because Brian didn't want to spend the money on it, but once we went, we just keep going back.

Last Spring, I finally decided that it had been long enough since Marcus had been born, and I was ready to endure another pregnancy.  Fast forward to late September...still not pregnant.  I didn't want to have to battle morning sickness while trying to teach Alyssa, so we decided to put off being pregnant until next Spring.  At this point I said, "Since I'm not pregnant, and our tenth anniversary is coming up, let's plan something incredible for it."  Brian agreed, and his first suggestion was Disneyland.  Whether he suggested it because he now loves Disneyland as much as I do, or because he just knew it would make me happy - bless him.  I love that man.

We decided to invite some friends, and the first people who came to mind were Will and Nelsa Sumsion, because when we mention Disneyland they get as excited talking about it as I do.  We called them up and left a message inviting them, and they called us the next day saying they had already lined up a babysitter and were excited to go.  Yea!

Getting back to the pregnant thing:  When I want to get pregnant, I chart my cycles and find out exactly when I ovulate and all that, so by September I knew I was pretty consistent with my ovulation dates, and I knew that if we planned it right I would not get pregnant in October.  Heavenly Father had different plans.  I figure that either Heavenly Father really wants us to have a baby right now, or he really wants us to go to Disneyland - maybe both.  Anyway, when we went in for an early ultra sound we discovered that I had ovulated a week late, and I said, out loud, "So that's how we got pregnant!"

Anyway, now that the morning sickness is under control and I'm only miserable part of the time instead of all of the time, I'm feeling much better about this pregnancy, and I'm getting very excited to meet this baby in the Summer.  But we're also getting very excited for our Disneyland trip with the Sumsions.  A few weeks ago, when I was laying on the couch, Brian asked, "If you are feeling like you are now in February, do you still want to go to Disneyland?"  I thought, "Go to Disneyland?!? I don't even want to move!" and said, "No," but now that things are better, we're lining up our plans and counting down the days.  38 as of today, by the way.

This is the first time that we'll be going without our kids, and even though the pregnancy changes our plans of riding every roller coaster 'til we drop, I still look forward to going through the shops on Main Street without keeping tiny hands off of everything, and walking places without worrying about losing anyone.  We won't have to carry anyone who's tired of walking, or push around a stroller.  We can eat out at the fancy restaurants (We've got reservations for the Blue Bayou on both Valentine's Day and our anniversary, but we'll only pick one to go to) and walk through the stores that have breakable collectibles.  We're going to see the new water show, World of Color, and we're headed one night to watch knights battle at Medieval Times.  It's going to be so much fun!

Edited to add: I just realized I'm not going to have to help anyone get dressed in the morning!  I'll still probably be telling Brian, "Eat your breakfast, quick!  Let's get going!" though, like I have to do with the kids.

This One Goes Out To The One I Love

Sorry for the kissy picture.  Brian and I took pictures of ourselves while waiting for the kids to wake up on Christmas morning.  I wanted to use one of those, and this is the only one where Brian isn't making a horribly ugly face.

Any R.E.M. fans out there?  I grew up listening to R.E.M. because my brother loved them - great band.  So if you continue singing this song: "This one goes out to the one I love(d?)," the next line goes,  "This one goes out to the one I left behind."

I love Brian, but he is the one leaving me behind every morning, which is one of the reasons why I love him.  Before I was pregnant, I would get up in the morning to exercise, usually getting up before his alarm even thought about sounding.  Now, it's a different story.  I do wake up around 5:00 each day to take my thyroid medication, because I'm supposed to take it on an empty stomach, with lots of water, and not eat anything for at least an hour afterward. Plus, I usually throw up first thing upon getting out of bed each day, and I need to have time for that pill to get absorbed so it doesn't come right back up again.  But I don't even get out of bed to take said pill.  The bottle is sitting on my side dresser with a cup of water, and I go right back to sleep after taking it.

A while later Brian's alarm goes off and he pushes snooze, which happens a few times, 'cause that's how he does things, but then he gets out of bed to shower, and I roll over and go back to sleep.  He comes back in the room to get dressed, and I roll to the other side.  He says good-bye, I tell him I love him, and then roll over, again, and go back to sleep.

I love this man.  He hasn't complained at all.  He hasn't rubbed it in my face that he gets up way before I do, like I used to kind of do to him when I went running at crazy-5-in-the-morning.  He hasn't called me lazy or anything like it.  The closest he's even come to complaining is that he said he was tired last night and headed to bed around 7:30.  He is amazing, and I am so thankful for all the hard work he does for our family.

The Festivities

Christmas Eve we woke up bright and early to join a bunch of other families in our ward to go clean the church.  Brian and I were put in charge of cleaning the bathrooms, which is a good things, because I threw up in the toilets a few times while we were cleaning them.  Even though I was feeling crummy, it was fun to get out as a family.  We stopped at Yokes on the way home for a some doughnuts, and then enjoyed those once we got home.

At noon we went to the church for our family get-together, which was also my Grandma Harris' birthday party.  We had a ton of fun eating, watching the dads play with remote control helicopters, watching the kids perform the nativity, singing Christmas carols, and eating Grandma's cake.  There was a tiny little pregnant kitty freezing outside the church.  My brother went home and brought back some cat food and milk to feed it outside, while we all debated what to do.  It seemed as if she was dropped off by someone who didn't want a pregnant cat or that she got lost when her family moved in, but we thought it was most likely the former, because the houses around the church are so close that if a family moved in, it would be hard for her to get lost.  My brother ended up taking her home, and the plan was to call the shelter or vet on Monday.  They named her Mary, because, like Tallia said, "She was pregnant on Christmas Eve with no where to go.  What else were we supposed to call her?"

Brian and Mike pulled a couch from the foyer into the gym for me, and I took a nap while everyone played.  We took off while everyone was singing Christmas carols to head to Brian's parent's house for Christmas Eve dinner.  We stayed there until bedtime, so we would be able to put the kids to bed right when we got home.  It worked for the boys.  They were both asleep by the time we pulled into the drive way.  We had to wait a little while for Alyssa to go to sleep for Santa to come, which was hard for both Brian and I.  I didn't feel well at all, and he was dead tired.

Christmas morning was perfect.  For starters, Christmas was the first day I felt better in a long time.  (Just to update you on that: the other day when I posted when I felt better, I ended up puking my guts out quite violently, and when we went to the doctor a few days later, we told him about the Zofran issues, and he put me on something new, which is helping a lot.  I started feeling better on Christmas, and things have been sufficiently better ever since.  I still feel nauseated all the time, but it's low enough that I can ignore it for the most part.  Things are better.)

 So back to Christmas morning.  The kids slept in until almost eight o'clock.  Ethan woke us up at seven by yelling, "Is it morning...yet..." and then he went back to sleep, so Brian and I laid in bed, waiting for the kids to get up, until finally we started checking on them to see if that would wake them, which didn't work until Ethan woke up close to eight.  We got the camera out and had him wake Alyssa and Marcus, then we all went downstairs.

Santa outdid himself this year.  Everyone loved their present.  Alyssa got a friendship bracelet making kit, Ethan got a Fisher Price Trio blocks helicopter and airport tower set, and Marcus got a Fisher Price Trio blocks Batmobile.  I got an eye medication that's the equivalent of Latisse that makes your eyelashes grow long, because Brian said the pharmacy was out of Latisse.  I've used Latisse before, because Brian didn't want to recommend it to patients without knowing if it was good or not, and I loved the results.  Brian got a crepe cook book in his stocking, and he looked through it real quick and learned that it's best to have the batter sit for an hour or two before making up the crepes, so he declared that we should make up the batter and then open our other presents.

Everyone was happy with their family presents as well.  We got scriptures for each of the kids - a quad for Alyssa, with a beautiful cover I made for her during one of my better moments these past few weeks, and the cheap hard cover Book of Mormons for the boys.  Brian got a lava lamp for Alyssa, and cars for the boys.  One time while I was at Walgreens getting a prescription filled, I looked around their toy section and found some labled, "Buy two for $12.99 and get one free," so I picked up a matching game for Ethan, Disney princess figurines for Alyssa, and a Toy Story 3 backpack for Marcus, which was his absolute favorite.  Brian opened up a crepe maker, which we're both thrilled with, and his parents came over for a crepe breakfast.

We spent the rest of the day visiting Brian's grandma, then going to Mike and Tallia's for Christmas dinner.  It was a wonderful Christmas, a beautiful day.  I loved watching my kids get excited for the holiday and play with their presents all day long.  We just had a happy, relaxed feeling in our home all day long, and it was wonderful.

We Can Do This, Baby

"We can do this, Baby," is the mantra I would chant to myself when things got bad.  "We can do this," when I'd have to breathe slowly to keep myself from throwing up.  "We can do this," after throwing up and having a few blessed minutes of feeling a little bit better.  But today I said "We can do this, Baby," with enthusiasm, because today has been a good day.

Things have gotten a lot better since my last post.  I went to the hospital again, added two new drugs to my list, which helped with the nausea but also made me feel really wierd, ran out of Zofran and found that it had been making me feel worse, and today I've just been taking medication as needed instead of around the clock like I've been doing.  It kind of makes me mad that the Zofran was making me sick - not mad at the doctors, because they wouldn't know.  I've heard of Zofran working for so many people.  But it makes me mad at the Zofran.  It was supposed to be helping, but it wasn't doing it's job, or maybe it was doing it's job, and maybe now that I'm further along I don't need it.  I don't know.  I'm taking any good days I can get with a smile.  I hope this lasts and things just keep getting better from here. 

Brian wants me to tell everyone that we didn't send Christmas cards, so if you didn't get one from us, don't feel bad - no one did.  I haven't even emailed a few people back who asked for our address so they could send us a Christmas card, because the medications I've been on have made focusing on the computer difficult.  So I will get to that, and next year everyone will get a fabulous Christmas card from us, but for now, just know that we appreciate you all and we hope that everyone has a very wonderful Christmas!

Gathering Strength

I haven't had the energy to post, but I've been wondering the past couple of days if I should.  I took my Zofran and Phenegren at 9:00, then I spit in the sink, checked on the boys, and went to bed, and I ended up just laying there with words running through my mind, and I knew I needed to post if I was going to get any sleep tonight.  I have to post, because I've had some horrible thoughts the last few days, and if Alyssa ever has those thoughts, or if this baby is a girl and she ends up having those thoughts, I want them to know that I've been there, that they're not alone.   I have to post because I started this blog not to show off what a perfect life I have or how incredibly cool I am, but to truly chronicle my life, and that means not just including the fluffy, happy thoughts, but the ugly ones as well.

Life is not easy right now.  Really, I shouldn't complain.  Brian is able to help more than he has during any of my other pregnancies, both of our families have jumped on board to offer any help that is needed, and I have a good doctor that believed me when I said I get sick and is working with me to fix things.  But still, life is hard.  The Zofran keeps me from throwing up, but it doesn't keep me from feeling nauseated all of the time or from gagging and dry heaving when I move too fast or stand up.  It's gotten so bad that I've taken to yelling at my body when it happens, too keep whatever is in my stomach, down.  "Stop," I'll yell, or "NO!" really loud.  I probably look like a crazy person.  My mouth is full of saliva, and it makes me just pukey to swallow it, so I spit into a garbage can all day, and when I move that garbage can it makes me sick just feeling how heavy it's gotten.

I'm tired of laying on the couch, or in bed, but it's about all that I'm able to do each day.  Today my accomplishments were taking a shower and washing Alyssa's bedding.  Even then, my mom was there to watch the boys for me, and she was the one who made Alyssa's bed once the sheets were clean.  Oh, and showering is hard.  I try to shower when I'm feeling my best, and I also try to shower quickly so I can get out of there fast, but I'm not able to move fast, so the shower drags on.  Most days I just shampoo and condition my hair and get out of there, but even then I have to lay on my bed for a while to recover afterward.

Needles to say, as thrilled as I am to have this new life growing inside me, I hate being pregnant.  Brian and I knew we wanted another child, so we tried to get pregnant over the summer so the worst of it would be over when school started, but when I wasn't pregnant in September, we decided to stop trying until the spring, and of course, this is when I got pregnant.  And I am happy.  I really am.  I'm glad that we get to welcome one more baby into our family, and I'm excited to meet this little person, and I know that once we get through the worst of this, eventually I will feel well enough to function normally.

Yesterday was a bad day.  It's the day I need to post about.  I spent the day on the couch, being loved (i.e. crawled on) by Ethan and Marcus, and I just didn't feel well.  So when Marcus decided to help himself to the bag of Cheez-Its on the counter, and decided to help himself by dumping the whole bag on the kitchen table, and I had to jump up and say, "No, that it not what we do," and try to get the Cheez-Its into a bowl while running to the sink multiple times to gag and dry heave and scream "No!" at myself and not at Marcus, I just lost it.  I stood at the sink and started to cry.  I then composed myself long enough to make sure the Cheez-Its were contained, and I went up to my room and locked the door, went to my bathroom and locked the door, and went to my closet to cry where my children couldn't hear me.

I would love to say at this point that I prayed, but I don't think you could call it praying.  Flat out murmuring is how I remember it.  I was mad at Heavenly Father - really mad.  I was mad that I get sick, that other women get so sick while they're pregnant.  I was mad that I'm given this trial, when I want children so badly.  This is our last pregnancy.  Brian and I decided even before we started trying that we were only going through this one more time, and I can tell you now, it will not be happening again.  But I wouldn't feel this hostile to adding children to our family if my pregnancies weren't so miserable.  So, yeah, I was mad, and I just sobbed over and over, "I can't do this.  I'm not strong enough," and "It's not fair!"

Then I called my mom, and when she heard the hysteria in my voice, that I couldn't even stop crying enough to let her know what was going on, she said she was coming over right away.  My sister, who was at my parent's house, called me back after I hung up, so I wouldn't be alone while I waited.  And this is when I said horrible things.  I said that if Heavenly Father wants me to have this baby, then I will hang on to the very end, but that even though I will love this baby, I don't feel close to it yet - all I feel is sick.  I said that if Heavenly Father wanted me to have a miscarriage that I would be sad, but that I would also be a little bit happy to feel like a normal person again.  I know that is a horrible thing to say.  I know it is.  I cringe just thinking about this baby growing up and reading this, and feeling like it wasn't wanted.  It is wanted - wanted so badly.  But I have to write this for my myself, for my daughter who might someday be sick and have a moment when she feels the same way, for the many women out there who suffer as I do, for the people who don't understand - who need to understand just how consuming and debilitating hyperemesis gravidarum can be.

I have to write this to give myself strength to carry on.  To remember that I want this baby, that I love this baby, and that I can make it to the end of this horrible pregnancy.  To remember that soon I'll be able to feel the baby move, and that is one of the greatest parts of pregnancy.  To remember that someday, sooner than it feels right now, I will hold this baby in my arms and think, "It was so worth it.  You were so worth it, and I would do it again, a thousand times if I had to, if it meant getting you."

So there you have it.  Carrie, in all her horribleness.  I'll leave you with that, partly because I've run out of things to say, but mostly because I'm tired of running to the bathroom sink to spit and to gag, and I know I need to lay down soon or I will definitely throw up.  Don't worry about me, though.  Brian's mom is scheduled to come over tomorrow to help.  I have an ultra sound scheduled fro Thursday, which the doctor wants me to do each week until the end of the first trimester, since I have a history of late first trimester miscarriages.  I've had two ultra sounds so far, and every time I see that tiny little heart beating, it gives me purpose.  I'm really okay, and I'm going to make it through this.

Guess Where I've Been

Note: the computer is down, and I used my phone to post this. I wasn't going to tell, but it's just awful. This will be edited soon.

We were going to wait until Christmas to tell anyone. We weren't going to tell our parents, and we weren't going to tell the kids until Christmas day. But I am lousy at keeping secrets. I had it all planned out, too. Just imagine a cute little post on Christmas morning saying that Santa brought a friendship bracelet kit for Alyssa, a airport block set for Ethan, a Batman block set for Marcus, and a bassinet for the new baby. See? Wouldn't that be a great way to tell everyone?

Instead it was, "Mom, I'm so sick. I need a bean burrito," and "Diane, I'm so sick. Can you cook up some chicken and hamburger at your house so I don't have to smell it?" and "Kids, Daddy and I wanted to tell you special on Chrismtas morning, but the reason I've been so sick is because we're getting a new baby, and we're really going to need your help," and finally, "Mom, I'm really sick. Brian is on the phone with the doctor and they want me to come in right now. Can you come watch the kids?"

Did you notice a theme to all that? Yes, I'm pregnant, and like always I am sick as a dog. Not fun. Brian took me in last night and they sent me straight to the hospital. The doctor gave me the option Of waiting a couple of days to go in, but we decided that the sooner the better, and we just hopped across the street to the hospital. They filled me full of fluid and drugs, and I left feeling pretty good. The doctor also put in an order for a Zofran pump to see if that helps me feel better. (I've been taking Zofran tablets for about a week now, and they're helping, but not as good as we'd like.) He also told us to come back to the hospital as often as we need to until we get things under control. So hopefully we'll get this thing kicked before it kicks me. We found out that I have thyroid problems, which may be contributing to the sickness. I left the hospital felog like a normal person, then I started feeling like I had what I would assume to be normal morning sickness, and now it's gotten a little worse. I'm excited to take my Phenegren tonight, because I think that combined with the Zofran will help a lot, and of course, once my Zofran pump comes and I'm getting a continuous supply , things will get better.

BriN got me a really ute charm bracelet thatwas wrapped up and sitting under the Christmas tree when I came home today. It's a pregnancy bracelet, and you add a new charm each month until the baby comes. I love it! I put it on this afternoon, and when feel my two little charms dangling, imreminded that there's a very exciting reason for all of this, and that in July we'll have a sweet little baby.

Cold Turkey

We ran the Turkey Trot this morning.  The pies are all filled and baked.  Pumpkin cookies are placed on plates.  The broccoli salad has been sitting in the fridge since yesterday.  The kids are bathed and dressed.  All that's left to do is  wait for a phone call from my parents that the turkey is done, and we'll head to the church for some Thanksgiving fun.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Just Keep Running, Just Keep Running, Running, Running, What Do We Do? We Run, Run

I did it!  Last night I went out running, and my goal was to run a 5k without walking, and you know what?  I did it!  I'm on a super high right now, even though it's already the next morning, just because I actually did it.

My brother told me about a site with free music mixes, where you choose music based on how many beats per minute it has.  Last night I listened to "World Cruise" at 155 BPM, and I really liked it.  My time isn't as good running the whole things as apposed to when I do intervals, so I'm going to pick a song with a higher BPM on Saturday to see what that does.

A lot of people in my family are signing up for the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning.  Mike, Tallia, Kim, Short Brian, me, Alyssa, Ethan, possibly Megan and Michael...It's going to be great!

Switch-Up

So I was just sitting here, minding my own business, pouring over a fashion blog, wondering how people can have the time, money, and energy to put into dressing themselves spectacularly each day - when I heard an excited voice behind me, "Mom, look at us!"  It was Alyssa.  I turned around, and this is what I saw:

Yes, Alyssa and Marcus had switched clothes.  First off, look how thin little skinny-minny is in her pajama turned capri pants.

And let's take a closer, fuzzy look at Marcus in Alyssa's glasses.  Check the kid out, he's adorable! If Brian checks his eyes and says he needs glasses, I will not be sad.  He'd be an intellectual three year old hunk!  It's better in person.  I couldn't stop laughing at the cuteness; the pictures are not even close to it.

When Marcus looked at this picture he said, "Dat me in Arilla dress!"

Happy Birthday, Dear Marcus!

Saturday was Marcus' birthday.  I started singing to him the minute he opened his eyes in the morning, and before they were all the way open, he had a huge grin on his face.  We had a pretty busy day: Brian's great uncle's funeral, visiting our newest nephew in the hospital (Erin and Phil's little boy, Calvin), and then his birthday party. 

The funeral was actually a good experience.  I love LDS funerals!  Yes, there are tears shed, but they're not really sad, because we know we'll be able to be with each other again.  We enjoyed seeing a lot of Brian's relatives, and the kids especially enjoyed running around the gym afterward with distant cousins.  Marcus even hug-tackled a little boy his age.  We've got to do something about that.  He's a tough lover!

I was visiting with Erin while Marcus was inspecting Calvin in Brian's arms,so I didn't get to witness it, but Brian said he was very interested in the newborn.  Calvin had a few small cuts on his head from the delivery, and Marcus was very concerned about those. 

And then came the birthday party.  We spent most of the day at the funeral, then rushed to the hospital, then rushed to Costco to pick up a cake to supplement the cupcakes and to Michael's Craft Store to replace my cupcake frosting tip I lost, then really rushed back home to straighten up the house and get things ready for the party.  We had just barely enough time.  I was just finishing placing the cupcakes on plates as Mike and Tallia rang the doorbell.

The party was great.  We had a full house with all the grand children running around.  Marcus was excited to eat his cupcakes, and he even sat at the table once everyone started arriving and told us he was ready to eat.  He got a lot of fun presents from everyone - present opening is chaos with fifteen kids crowded around, but it's also very exciting. 

Marcus is quite the guy.  He's like a 33 year-old stuck in a 3 year-old body.  He thinks he has the same rights, privilages, and kitchen pantry access that adults have.  He loves rocket ships, pirates, blocks, books, and cars.  He loves to wrestle, but he is also a very good cuddle-er, and he loves to give hugs and kisses.  He loves to bake!  Any time I go to the kitchen to make something, whether it's breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, or whatever, he'll be right beside me measuring ingredients and stirring things.  He's also started to get a great sense of humor and he likes to crack jokes or say funny things and wait for us to laugh.  He is such a sweet little boy, a real joy to have in our family!